


Wandering Flame

by Zerrat



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Action, Afterlife, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Final Fantasy X, Angst, Corrupt Religion, F/F, Femslash, Fusion, being dead ain't easy in spira
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 14:43:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerrat/pseuds/Zerrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Final Fantasy X AU. Until one fateful evening, Lightning was a Crusader serving under Lord Mi'ihen. Now stuck somewhere between life and death, she stubbornly remains by Serah's side in their pilgrimage to defeat Sin. When it comes to Yevon and the truth of the Final Aeon, though, things are never simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hymn of the Fayth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LogosMinusPity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogosMinusPity/gifts).



> Hello all! Welcome to _Wandering Flame_ , a FFXIII/FFX fusion-style fic that sets Lightning, Serah, Snow, Fang etc in the world of _Final Fantasy X_. This one is a somewhat late in posting birthday gift for the fabulous Logos, and is a WIP. There should be around seven or eight chapters to this, but that may change as I work my way through. If anyone is unfamiliar with some of the terms or concepts used in this, I'm more than happy to discuss them! Just drop me a comment. I've got some links to terms in the FF Wiki, if anyone would find those useful.
> 
> The title for the fic comes from a track on the FFX OST, which you can listen to [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2i6DNgHcrM).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a cold and rainy night, Lightning’s future is decided for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to fmorgana for betaing! 
> 
> The title for the chapter comes from the song and concept of the same name, the tracks of which you can listen to [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWVST7P37IM) and [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h03yRFpbsk0).

Every breath Lightning took was a struggle - shallow, raw and gasping. She could no longer feel the steady pounding of the rain on her skin, could barely register the coldness of her drenched clothing and armour. It was a losing battle to remain conscious at all as she staggered through the darkened streets of Bodhum.

The storms had driven the island's every inhabitant indoors, so there was nobody to witness her weakness - or to offer her the help she desperately needed. In the darkness, thunder and howling winds, her initial shouts for help had gone unanswered, and if anyone had heard her pounding on their doors, they had chosen to ignore it.

 _Knifed in the back by a thief. Right on the day the Maester arrives,_ Lightning thought, her thoughts both vague and scattered as blackness continued to devour the edge of her vision. _Just my luck. Mi'ihen will have my head for this._

So would Serah - after all, she'd been against Lightning taking on the unexpected extra patrol. When Lord Mi'ihen had asked her to pick up the slack left by her fellow Crusaders, all thanks to the celebrations put on for Maester Brand, Lightning hadn't been about to refuse. 

Serah was up at the new Temple, where Lord Mi'ihen, the high priest and the Maester had convened. _Serah-_

Lightning staggered and nearly fell, white hot pain lancing from the knife wound in her back and all through her vision. Blood bubbled up between her lips again, hot and tasting of iron on her tongue. Somehow, she stayed standing, stubbornly continuing on in spite of the growing numbness in her extremities.

Thunder rolled in the black night sky overhead, and the clouds lit up with silver sheet lightning. The rain came down even harder, drowning out her weakening thoughts as she headed for the beacon of light at the highest point on the island.

_I just... have to make it to Serah. The temple. The Maester -_

Her boot caught on the edge of a cobblestone, and this time Lightning fell. She couldn't bite back her cry of agony as her back seared hot when she tried to twist and catch herself, and for the space of what felt like eternity, thought seemed completely impossible. 

Eventually, the pain subsided to something slightly more manageable, even if her body was weak and shaking. She pushed herself to her hands and knees, and she felt as though she was going to throw up. 

The thief - hell, she'd barely gotten a good look at him before he'd hit her hard and made off with her sword, her items and her gil - hadn't exactly made it easy for her to survive their encounter. He'd done a serious number on her, and frankly she could have used a potion or ten at that moment.

She almost laughed at the thought - instead, she sobbed. 

Thunder rumbled again as Lightning used an old, ruined street lamp to aid her in climbing to her feet. Gasping and almost blind from the pain, she peered through her sodden bangs. The temple - _help_ \- wasn't far. 

_I can't die here. My parents... Serah..._ Slowly, she continued, placing one painful foot after the other. _Live on. Protect Serah. No matter the cost._

Funny. Half the time, Lightning could scarcely remember her parents' faces, let alone find herself moved by sentimentality over their deaths. She'd spent her life making sure Serah had had enough to eat, somewhere warm to sleep, _everything_ , which was sure as hell a lot better than up and dying on her. 

Was she crying? She was too cold and numb to tell, and the rain had only grown heavier. 

The next time that Lightning slipped, so close to the temple but too far, she knew she wasn't getting up. Her head swam, dark and violent, and the _pain_ -

It was fading into dull, static buzzing at the back of her skull, the edge blunted as though her body had simply exceeded its threshold. She didn't shiver anymore. She couldn't even summon the breath it would take to shout for help one last time. 

_Guess I couldn't protect you after all, Serah._

Consciousness fled her grasp.

###

"She is younger than I expected." A voice, disembodied and unfamiliar, floated at the edge of Lightning's awareness. Balanced somewhere between awakening and flowing back into a deep, dreamless sleep, she wondered if it was just her mind playing tricks on her.

"Greatness seldom has time to wait," another voice replied to the first. This one she recognised.

Lord Mi'ihen, Captain Commander of the Crimson Blades - or in recent months, the Crusaders. If that was Lord Mi'ihen, that meant that Lightning had somehow made it back to the temple, that she'd survived against the odds. She couldn't seem to open her eyes, and moving her body felt close to impossible. She felt disconnected, pain-free, warm -

"Still. She's unproven and green. I expected more, given the reports." The first man clicked his tongue, as though disappointed in what he saw. "You know why we have come here, Mi'ihen."

There were a few beats of silence, and Lightning wondered if she'd slipped into unconsciousness again. Her head felt so fuzzy, and the clarity she'd felt just a moment ago was a faraway memory. 

"Surely... Surely you don't mean-" Mi'ihen cut off. His voice sounded both alarmed and falling on her ears from over an impossible distance. 

"Offer us this dying Crusader. Consider it a marker of your... _loyalty_ to the Church of Yevon..."

The first man's voice trailed off as Lightning's tentative hold on her consciousness failed her. Everything plunged back into a frightening, deep sort of darkness.

_They said I'm dying._

###

Lightning was surprised that she woke up from that terrifying darkness, but somehow, it happened. Her eyes painfully cracked open, over-sensitive and gummed up, and she let a tiny groan escape her lips as the pain drenched her. Even that minuscule effort drained and left her breathless, and her vision swam before her eyes. She let her eyelids flutter closed again, yearning for sleep.

Every shred of her body ached with a hot, throbbing fire, and her shallow breath tasted of blood and stubborn infection. In spite of the sweat slicking her hair to her forehead and neck, her hands and feet felt numb she couldn't seem to stop shivering. 

Cold hands smoothed Lightning's hair back from her aching face, and she knew by touch alone that it was Serah. Swallowing her next weak groan, she heard her sister speak to someone else in the room. Snow? Was Lightning really so out of it that she hadn't noticed Snow there too?

 _They said I was dying... Is that still true? Am I really...?_

She sucked in a ragged, stubborn breath and tried not to cry out at the pain blossoming in her back and chest. She hissed and bit her lower lip, fighting the urge to throw up.

"Shhhh, calm down... Lightning, I'm here." Serah pressed something cool and damp against Lightning's forehead. "Thank Yevon you're awake."

The room smelled of sickness, potions and salves, and when Lightning was able to force her eyes open again, she could see that she'd made it to Bodhum's new Temple of Yevon. Serah studied there, and the maesters -

Lightning swallowed thickly, and accepted the cup of water Serah pressed to her lips. Maester Brand. Was he still in Bodhum?

"Serah," she forced out, loathing the way her voice sounded thin and breathless. "How long?"

She didn't have the strength to elaborate. 

"A day. Snow found you in the gutter outside the temple. He brought you in..." There was a note of tenseness in Serah's voice that spoke volumes. "What happened?"

"Got hit from behind. Mugger... Taking advantage of the crowds drawn by the Maester's visit." Lightning closed her eyes. In all the wind-driven rain and roaring thunder, she hadn't even heard him approach. She hadn't had the damnedest idea until the knife had been buried to the hilt between her ribs and she was coughing up blood, _choking_ on it -

"They took dad's sword," Lightning continued, shying back from the memory, but the fear of that moment clamped on like a wild Besaid dingo. She could taste blood, sharp on her tongue. "Serah-"

"Don't waste your energy," Serah told her, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together for a moment. Lightning felt waves of calming magic emanate out from her sister, loosening the clawing terror in her chest. It was the first spell she'd learned as an apprentice summoner, Lightning realised.

It should have been a moment for celebration. Instead, it was a matter of life and death. 

After a moment, Lightning heard Serah suck in a huge, shuddering breath, before she pulled away. She wiped her cheeks on her gloved hands, and the dark circles under her eyes told it all.

"It'll be okay," Serah said, her voice cracking just a little toward the end. Even if she was smiling, the lie was obvious. Lightning had made it to the Temple, made it to a healer, but it was too little, too late. All the cure spells and potions were doing was prolonging her agony, making it nothing more than slow torture. 

She was going to die after all, and she felt herself sob just once. 

The world spun violently before her eyes, and she pressed her palm heel to her temple, heedless of the way it made the wound in her back weep. Her breath burbled and crackled, even if she no longer had the strength to cough and clear her lungs. 

"Serah, I _know_ ," Lightning bit out, her breath painful, shallow and fast. She felt the world lurch again. "Serah, I'm not going to make it."

"No Claire, don't -" Serah broke off, choking on her own words as she began to sob. "Don't you leave me, too."

_How... How the hell do I keep my promise to her when it took little more than a thief in the night to do me in?_

Impulsively, Lightning reached out, hugging her sister to her chest as tightly as she could manage. Serah was just fifteen, and she'd been so much younger when Sin's rampages had taken their parents. Lightning had done her best to shelter her sister from the harsh reality of Spira. 

In the end, she couldn't protect Serah from her own death. Becoming an unsent was a prospect that made her ill to entertain, even if just for a moment - her sister needed a protector, not a damn monster. 

Serah's shoulders were shaking, and Lightning closed her eyes and tried to ignore the way her vision swirled. She didn't push her sister away - she couldn't bring herself to, no matter her pain or complete exhaustion.

_Serah._

There was a knock on the doorframe of the sickroom. Lightning looked up to see her leader, Lord Mi'ihen, sweep into the room with a very nervous looking Snow in his wake. 

"Snow, where is the-" Serah began, moving from Lightning's side slightly, but Mi'ihen held up a hand to stay her words.

"Please, do not blame him." Mi'ihen's voice was soft, if still commanding as ever. Lightning struggled to sit up and give him the Crusader salute, but even that small movement seemed beyond her.

Serah, her face pale but determined, resolutely did not move from Lightning's side as Mi'ihen slowly approached the bed. 

Lord Mi'ihen was a big man, easily taller than Snow. A superb fighter and an incredible tactician, Mi'ihen had founded the Crimson Blades - now the Crusaders, she reminded herself. That was not why Lightning had signed up. He was also an even-handed, charismatic and kind leader, and he truly believed in the importance of the ongoing battle against Sin. 

Not all Spirans could learn to summon, and fewer still would ever reach Zanarkand and receive the Final Aeon. The Crusaders would accept any man or woman that wanted to take the fight to the monster that had terrified them all. After her parents had perished in one of Sin's many attacks, Mi'ihen had given her direction for her anger. He'd given her something to fight for. 

"Farron," Lord Mi'ihen started, before pausing and looking at both Serah and Snow. "If you could leave us for a few moments -"

"They stay," Lightning broke in, allowing Serah to help her sit up. If she was dying, then she reserved the right to shove protocol.

In spite of the near-blinding pain, she saw the way her sister's eyebrows had drawn together - what had she heard? While Serah was just an apprentice, she was more aware of Yevon's internal workings than Lightning. 

It was a bad sign, and her mind flickered back to the conversation between Lord Mi'ihen and the other man. 

Mi'ihen's expression tightened a little, but he seated himself on the foot of Lightning's bed. Snow leaned on the wall at Serah's back. It looked like he hadn't slept in days. 

Lightning closed her eyes for a moment, leaning more heavily into Serah as her energy dipped again. 

"I am afraid I will not soften my words," Mi'ihen said, the crows feet at the corners of his eyes deepening for a moment as he met Lightning's eyes. "I have convened with Maester Brand and the highest healer Bodhum has to offer. It is a miracle of Yevon that you regained lucidity at all. I am glad you are awake for this, that we can give you a choice -"

Mi'ihen broke off, his gaze flickering from Lightning and over to Serah, as if assessing something. "They tell me that you will not last the night, Farron. The injury... the infection... We are too late to save you."

Lightning swallowed thickly, her vision growing fuzzy at the edges for a moment. It took Serah's hands on her hot, aching back before she could rally enough to _think_. She was dying, and that was from Lord Mi'ihen himself - the man who would rather spit in Sin's eye than ever give up hope. The man who never ran from a fight. 

_He_ was telling her that it was over, that there was no point in struggling any longer.

A yawning pit of fear opened up in her stomach, and she felt her throat tighten. She was not _ready_ to go!

"Your options are these," Mi'ihen continued, exhaling softly. "The Maester has a... draught, that will ease your pain and allow you to sleep."

 _Sleep and never wake up. Roll over and die, he means._ Lightning's lip curled, and she felt Serah tense up. 

"You can refuse the draught and continue to fight the infection. Perhaps you will be victorious - stranger things have happened." Mi'ihen's dark eyes met her own, and he looked... uneasy. "Your final option is this. Maester Brand has _suggested_ the we offer you something... Different. The Maester and his retinue are here on talks to place a fayth stone here at the new temple. Given your injury, given the sacrifice such a role demands -"

"You can't be serious!" Serah interrupted, her voice harsh and rigid. "Lightning, tell him no!"

Lightning just stared at Mi'ihen, at a loss for words. So that was why the Maester had come to Bodhum - the island sure as hell wasn't known for its idyllic weather. They wanted a fayth here! They wanted _her_? She was under no illusions as to what that task would entail.

The fayth were sacrifices, humans who willingly gave their lives. They allowed themselves to be entombed in stone, left in a permanent state of living death. 

If she accepted the Maester's offer, she'd be committing herself to eternity as one of Yevon's servants. On the other hand, it was _over_ for her. She was going to die and leave Serah - but if she became one of the fayth, took the Maester up on this unbelievable offer...

Her gaze slid over to Serah.

_I'd be able to continue to protect her. If not as a guardian, then as an aeon._

Serah must have read something in Lightning's expression - her face crumpled, and tears began to well up in her eyes again.

" _Claire-_ " 

"Serah. Please." Lightning closed her eyes, unable to bear it. She wet her dry lips. What was she meant to _do_?

"You can lie in this temple sickbed, waiting for the end - or a miracle." Mi'ihen's voice was soft, but it held the same note of conviction that had first gotten Lightning to sign up. "Or you say the hell to fate, and you take the chance to carry out your oaths to the very end."

_My vow to the Crusaders. My oath to Yevon. My promises to Serah._

The choice felt so clear.

Lightning took a weak and shallow breath. "They have the means to do so?"

Serah clapped her hands over her mouth, her tears brimming over. She jerked as though Lightning had drawn back her fist and struck her across the face. Snow rested his hand on Serah's shoulder, his jaw tight and his eyes desperate. Lightning met his eyes.

 _He understands. He gets why._ Slowly, she nodded. With Snow there, she knew Serah would get through this. Mi'ihen's eyes were intense when Lightning looked back to him.

"We have the means," he confirmed. "Here. Now. _Tonight_."

Lightning exhaled shakily. She couldn't let this chance slip through her fingers. She couldn't bear to look across at her sister, knowing that Serah opposed it.

"I don't want to stop fighting," Lightning said in the silence of the temple sickroom. "I don't want to stop _protecting_."

Serah drew in a breath that sounded like a sob, and Mi'ihen reached forward to grip Lightning's forearm. 

"Then don't."

###

Things happened quickly after Lightning had nodded to Mi'ihen and told him she accepted the Maester's offer. Already exhausted and fast losing her ability to hold herself together, the next hour was just a blur.

Mi'ihen had risen immediately to let Maester Brand know her choice, while Serah had seized Lightning's arm in a grip that had felt like iron. 

"Don't do it," she begged, her eyes wide and frightened. "You can beat this, I _know_ you can. Don't give up!"

Lightning hadn't had the strength or presence of mind left to argue the point - she already knew what Mi'ihen had told her was the basic truth of the situation. She wasn't giving up, but her body was.

Snow had read Lightning's exhaustion, because after a few futile minutes of Serah's begging, he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"It's Light's choice," he told her softly. "We can't make her do anything. It hers alone."

 _That's right,_ Lightning thought vaguely. _It is. How does she like the tables turned on her?_

Serah buried her face in Snow's shoulder, clinging to him like he was a rock in a Bodhum storm. Lightning must have lost consciousness then, because the next thing she knew, Serah and Snow were gone and the sick room was packed with people. Warrior monks, acolytes, priests - all buzzing around in a preparatory frenzy, all making so much noise that Lightning would have hit someone if she'd had the strength.

One of the acolytes sat at Lightning's bedside, pouring bitter X Potions and burning remedies down her throat near constantly. At least the foul-tasting draughts helped her gather her wits, even if her stomach began to roil rebelliously. 

The Maester wasn't going to take any chances on her up and dying on him, not now that he'd secured Yevon a willing sacrifice. 

The thought of what lay ahead made her ill, whether the attempt was successful or not. Suddenly she wished that they'd let her sleep through the preparations in a feverish stupor. Better that, than suddenly being very aware of the clawing anxiety in her chest, second in her mind only to the wound through her back.

Her breath began to shake as she tightened her fingers in the woollen blankets. Her head swam, pain lancing through her back and chest. She had maybe an hour left. One hour left to live. Where had Serah gone? Snow? Suddenly it seemed incredibly important that they were _there_ -

Lightning could taste blood at the back of her throat, her breath wet and sickly again. The acolyte sitting at her bedside clicked her tongue as though in annoyance. She pressed her hand to Lightning's shoulder, pushing her back down to the bed. 

"Sleep for now," the acolyte told her, and immediately, her eyelids felt impossibly heavy. 

_Sleep spell. Am I panicking so badly...? Serah, where did you go?_

###

When Lightning came to, she was no longer in the temple sick room, but somewhere cold, dark and unfamiliar. She was standing, but only thanks to the warrior monks that held each of her arms. The simple effort of staying steady made her break into a sweat.

Still groggy and weak, she looked around the chamber. There was no sign of Serah or Snow - had her choice really upset her sister so?

Lightning jerked as she heard footsteps, and out the corner of her eye, she saw the brightly coloured robes of Maester Brand. Just a few hours ago, she'd been standing in the crowds with Snow, watching the entourage from Bevelle disembark the ship. 

_Funny, how things could have changed so quickly._

Lightning swallowed, sucking in a shallow breath through her nose and trying not to be so afraid of what lay ahead. She watched Lord Mi'ihen and another hooded figure enter the room in Maester Brand's wake, and somewhere beyond the chamber, she heard stone doors swing shut. 

"Bar the doors," Maester Brand ordered, and Lightning twitched in recognition of the voice. He'd been the one Mi'ihen had been speaking with, then. "Now that we are beginning, none are to enter."

Lightning's gut clenched. That meant that Serah wouldn't be there for the end. She wouldn't get to say _goodbye_. She tried to clear her throat, tried to get her mouth to cooperate, but when that hooded figure swept forward, all thoughts of final demands feed away.

A hand shot out, easily seizing hold of Lightning's sweat-slicked chin. She sluggishly looked up into a pair of yellow eyes, and she bore it silently as she felt the hooded woman tilt her face back and forth. 

"There is a fire in her, yes, even at the end of her life." The woman released Lightning's face, her eyes narrowed and her expression amused. "Maester Brand. I could not have chosen better stock myself."

"That was the point," the Maester said, a little too harshly. He nodded to the warrior monks keeping Lightning on her feet. "Lay her down in the circle - carefully."

Feverish, her attention fraying and a pit of black exhaustion threatening to rise up and swallow her for good, she still managed to shoot the man a look over her shoulder. 

"Never fear," the Maester told her, seemingly unaffected by her glare. "Your pain will be over soon."

The "circle" Maester Brand had spoken of looked more like a shallow grave to Lightning, but then again, she'd never seen any of the fayth stones herself. The pit was carved directly into the rock itself, and in the warm torchlight, she could see crystals laid out in some complex and impossibly beautiful pattern. The gleam of fire off crystal lulled her senses, and she only cried out in pain once as they settled her down. 

She lay face down, carefully positioned so that her injury would cause her the least amount of pain. The chamber was a flurry of movement and sound behind her, while the Maester's inner circle prepared for the... sacrifice. 

_This isn't fair._

Above her, unaffected by the commotion and heedless of Yevon's rules, Mi'ihen knelt before her and laid a huge, warm hand on her head. 

"I'm sorry, sir," Lightning breathed, looking up at him. She was still so weak and frightened, and facing death alone. How was she meant to do this?

"None of that," Mi'ihen said, his voice equally soft. "Continue the fight, Crusader. Take it all the way to Sin's jaws, and go where we cannot. No regrets."

Lightning tried to smile. He had a point, but then again, he always did. This _sacrifice_ was not for her. It was for Serah. For Spira. For the Calm, where families would no longer be torn apart by death and destruction.

Mi'ihen smiled back at her, giving her shoulder one last gentle squeeze, before he rose to his feet and backed away. Around them, the chamber had grown silent and still. 

_This is it._ Lightning tensed her jaw, bracing herself. 

The hooded woman took the place Mi'ihen had occupied just moments before, her movements graceful and measured. Lightning didn't drop her gaze, refusing to do anything but look death in the eyes as it claimed her.

"Good girl," the woman murmured, a tiny smile curling the corner of her mouth. The fingers she brushed over Lightning's cheek were hazy with sleep magic. As she slipped under, she knew there would be no going back. 

The chamber, Maester Brand, Lord Mi'ihen and the hooded woman faded away. She dreamed of bright city lights, brilliant sunsets and an alien, advanced city of carefree isolation. After that, there was nothing but the Hymn of the Fayth.

###

When Lightning awoke, it was in silence - a relieving contrast to the cacophony of noise from the last time she'd been aware. The Maester, Mi'ihen and the hooded woman were all gone, and now that she was alone, she allowed herself a tiny shudder. 

_Those yellow eyes... Looking at me like I'm a chocobo for purchase. Who was that?_

It took a moment for the pain to register - or rather, the complete _lack_ of pain. The wound, the fever, the incredible weakness. All of it was gone, and in its place... She looked down at her gauntleted hands and held them up. In the hazy light cast by the torch by the chamber's threshold, she could see through her gloves and flesh and examine the markings on the wall beyond.

Her breath - did she even breathe anymore? - shuddered slightly as she exhaled. So the process, or whatever the woman had done to her, had been successful.

As a fayth, she could fight on. As a fayth, her death was not a barrier but a benefit. 

Lightning made a slow circuit of the inner chamber, running her eyes over the bright glyphs now decorating the walls and deliberately avoiding the obvious. Those markings, etched into the stone with light, had not been in the bare chamber before her... sacrifice. That raised the question - how long had she dreamed of the hymn before she'd finally come to?

Furrowing her brow and resettling her shoulders, she headed for the passageway beyond the chamber. She walked normally, no matter her ethereal state, and it almost seemed like -

As Lightning stepped across the threshold of the room, she felt herself freeze. Just like that'll and she was unable to move so much as an inch further. A sharp tugging in her chest, hot and tight like a new brand she'd only just become aware of, seemed to anchor her in the chamber itself. 

_So. I can't leave._ Lightning cast one last yearning look toward the dark temple beyond, where Serah studied and Snow trained, before slowly backing away. 

In truth, Lightning had no concept of the fayth, not more than any other Spiran. She certainly knew nothing about what she could and could not do, what that city she'd dreamed of was... of anything, really. 

Summoners, trained in the ways of Yevon, prayed to the fayth - that was now Lightning's role. The fayth were also the aeons summoners called on to aid them in battle, creatures they used in the fight against Sin. The connection between being a fayth and fighting as an aeon was not one that she had ever really understood. That answer had not magically come to her even now she was living that reality. 

_I'm not even sure how to speak with a summoner,_ Lightning thought, a little bitter. What the hell had she been thinking? Surely _any_ of the priests or acolytes would have been better suited to this... role. 

What was done could not be changed, though. She had to make the best of what she knew. 

Lightning turned and looked back into the chamber - the Chamber of the Fayth, she supposed it was now. A huge, disk-shaped stone tablet was set into the ground and layered in a soft, rosy crystal, but at this angle she couldn't resolve any detail. She approached it warily, wondering if she'd simply see her own skeleton in there under the crystal and entombed in stone.

The stone tablet wasn't her body, Lightning realised with relief, as she leaned over. It was in her image, yes, but it was simple painted rock and crystal. She could make out a huge shield, white, gold and green armour, dual serrated blades and a horned helm -

Her aeon. A protector and a destroyer both, just the way she'd wanted. 

Lightning let out a shaky breath, tilting her head back. Alone, and tied to a dark chamber that was essentially her tomb... 

It was going to be a long afterlife.

###

Lightning was alone for a very long time after that. She wasn't sure how much time had passed since her sacrifice - sometimes she would be aware, pacing her chamber like a caged coerl. Other times, she'd slip into what she assumed was sleep, as impossible as it seemed to her. 

When she slept, she dreamed, her thoughts snared by that city that she neither knew nor was a part of. She'd always sink deeper than that dream - it held little interest for her. Beyond was a chorus of countless voices, all singing the Hymn of the Fayth. 

In life, Lightning had never really cared for the song. It had reminded her loss, of what would have waited at the end of Serah's pilgrimage if she was successful. The Hymn soothed her now, easing some raw part of her soul still angry that her life had been cut so short, the part that still yearned for her family. 

Eventually, her lonely vigil came to an end, and it seemed only fitting that Serah was the one who broke it. 

When she realised that someone had finally beaten the Cloister of Trials, Lightning had immediately dragged herself away from the alien city. When her eyes fell on Serah for the first time in what might as well have been _years_ -

Regret and broken promises twisted like knives in her chest, and she watched Serah's eyes widen as she took in the fayth stone laid into the floor. She looked close to tears again, and Lightning materialised before her.

"Serah," Lightning breathed, and it was the first time she'd spoken to anyone in so long. "You've..."

She wanted to say "grown", but it looked like so little time had passed for her sister. Had she rushed her studies in her haste to be the first to beat the Trials?

Serah tried to smile for her, but the expression was both strained and weak. 

"They wouldn't tell me if it had worked, not formally..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath. 

Of course the Maester would have tried to keep his secrets, but it surprised Lightning that Mi'ihen would have stood for it. A few quiet words on the side would have done so much to ease Serah's grief. Lightning reached forward, intending to touch Serah's shoulder. 

Her hand passed through solid flesh and bone, and her sister shivered, as if suddenly cold. 

"I'm sorry," Lightning said, clenching her jaw and letting her hand rest back at her side. "I'm so sorry, Serah."

_For everything._

Serah nodded, just the once, though the expression in her eyes was nothing short of tortured. "Are you...?"

"I'm fine, all things considered. A little lonely, though." Lightning forced a small laugh, gesturing around at the small Chamber of the Fayth. 'Lonely' was too simple a word for it, but now that Serah was there... Now that a _summoner_ was there...

Something had lit up like a fire in her soul, and an incredible tension suffused her. She felt wired, nervous, as though she was balanced on the edge of a serious fight. It was indescribable, and the most alive she'd felt in a long time.

"Serah..." Lightning paused, meeting her sister's eyes without flinching. "Why do you seek my aid?"

Serah was quiet for a very long time, her expression thoughtful and distant. Lightning waited, patient, knowing that she wouldn't be disappointed. If any could summon her, it would be Serah. 

"The power to protect, and the power to destroy. To defeat Sin." The summoner's voice was clear and confident as she invoked whatever power she had been trained in. 

Lightning rested a hand on her hip, feeling herself smile as the magic inside her accepted the offer. It wasn't quite done, though, and she spoke without thought. 

"Invoke my name, and I will come to your aid. You can count on me, Serah."

As Serah sniffed back her tears, Lightning knew that the bond was set and the die was cast. It had begun, and there was no turning back. She'd accompany Serah on her pilgrimage, help her succeed in spite of what lay at the end. 

Together, maybe they'd defeat Sin for good. 

_Maybe that would make the pain I've caused worth it._


	2. Dust to Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the bond between fayth and summoner forged, Lightning joins Serah and Snow on their pilgrimage to Zanarkand. Facing the remnants of the life she sacrificed is far from easy, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you to everyone who read, kudos'd and commented the first chapter! I very much hope this next chapter lives up to expectations, and as always, if anyone has any questions about FFX or the mythos I'm using, I'm more than happy to discuss.
> 
> Thanks to fmorgana for continuing her fabulous work as beta.
> 
> Chapter title comes from the Final Fantasy XIII [track of the same name](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei5IDNc_s9I), which was more than fitting for the themes and events in this chapter.

After she formed the bond with Serah, Lightning found that her soul was no longer exclusively tied to the fayth stone. She stepped across the threshold of the chamber after Serah without incident, and she couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. For the time being, she got to leave the tiny, dark room behind. 

With Serah, she was free. 

Snow waited in the larger room adjoining the Chamber of the Fayth, and his whole face lit up in a brilliant smile as they came into view. He still wore his old trenchcoat and bandana, but Lightning could pick out the bulk of warrior monk armour beneath. What really drew her attention was the familiar, wrapped hilt of a sword rising over his shoulder, and she let out a small _tch_.

_My father's sword. Trust Snow to ensure I got justice in the end._

As Serah's only guardian on her pilgrimage to Zanarkand - Lightning would have made it two, if things had gone differently - she would not have entrusted the family heirloom to anyone else. She just hoped he'd learned how to use it. 

Snow's bright blue eyes stared unseeingly through Lightning as she approached, and she realised with a jerk that he couldn't detect her presence at all. The happy feeling in her chest soured slightly. She couldn't thank him. She wasn't even _visible_ to him.

Aloud, Lightning said after giving him a quick circle, "I wasn't convinced he'd be the wisest choice for a guardian. Now I suppose he looks the part, at least."

Serah smiled at the comment, but didn't reply. 

"Was it her?" Snow demanded as he rushed forward. He captured Serah in a tight bear hug that lifted her feet clear off the floor. "Was it Light?"

A deep ache started up in Lightning's chest as she watched Serah nod haltingly to his question. To everyone but Serah - and then only by virtue of their bond - she was a silent onlooker. 

She hadn't really known what she'd been expecting. The relentless torture of being able to see and hear her loved ones, yet being unable to interact with them in any meaningful way... it hadn't really crossed her mind when she'd agreed to Mi'ihen's proposal. 

"Was she..." Snow asked softly, his eyes crinkling in worry as he set Serah down on the ground. 

"I think so." Serah's gaze flickered over to where Lightning watched, as if she understood how difficult it was. _Anything you want me to tell him?_

Lightning twitched as Serah's thoughts rang out in her mind, as clear as if they were her own. She rested a hand on her hip and forced a smile, in spite of the feeling of loss that made her throat tighten. 

"Tell him dad's sword looks good on him. Tell him... that he scrubbed up so well as a guardian." She didn't mention the dozens of broken promises from as far back as their time in the orphanage, all made over a lifetime of knowing one another. 

She couldn't fulfil them now, not in the way they'd intended. At least she could try to keep with the spirit of their half-baked dreams of guardian heroics.

Snow's smile grew again as Serah relayed the message on to him, and he spun about, as though scanning the room for Lightning. Giving up after a few moments but not deflated in the least, he slammed his gloved fist into his palm and proceeded to crack his knuckles. 

"Don't you worry one bit, Light! I'll do whatever it takes to protect her, and I know you're going to meet me stride for stride. We'll get her to Zanarkand safe and sound. Consider that our new promise!"

Lightning laughed softly, even though she knew he couldn't hear her.

"Consider it a deal, hero."

###

It was early the next morning when Serah, Snow and Lightning emerged from Bodhum Temple and began to make their way down to the port through the rundown, storm-blasted township. For once, the skies above the island of storms were clear and pale, and Lightning dared to wonder if maybe it was a good omen for the pilgrimage. 

Good sign or not, with both Lightning and Snow at Serah's side, they were sure to make it all the way to Zanarkand. After that, it would be up to the summoner alone to receive the Final Aeon from what lay in the ruins. 

The first step in the pilgrimage was to leave Bodhum behind. While the weather was nothing short of harsh, the grey stone structures were dreary and her mind kept flickering back to the stormy night she'd been knifed... it had still been her home and she was sad to leave it behind,. 

Lightning, Serah and Snow boarded the SS Lindblum in silence, and none of them seemed willing to break it. She watched her sister lean over the rail of the ship, watched her look out across Bodhum's rocky cliffs and sparse settlement as if committing every last detail to memory. As a fayth, Lightning supposed that she would return. 

Serah, on the other hand, would likely never see her home again, even if she made it all the way to the end. Lightning closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the wind in the sails above them and the shouting of the ship's crew as they prepared for cast off. She supposed she knew how Serah felt - just a little. 

Lightning just had to make sure it was all worth it - her sacrifice and Serah's pilgrimage both. She had to focus on that goal, and not on the past. 

It was around half an hour before the SS Lindblum finally cast away from Bodhum's roughly constructed dock, and through that time, the sombre silence had continued. 

_How long does it take to say goodbye to everything you've known?_ Lightning wondered, tilting her head up. Maybe the speed of her sacrifice had been mercy, in a way. 

It was only when the island of storms was a tiny fleck of grey in the ocean that Serah finally took a deep, shuddering breath. 

"You okay, Serah?" Snow asked, leaning over the rail at her side, his arms folded and his eyes concerned. 

"I'm alright, Snow. It was just... harder, than I thought it would be." Serah's lips twitched in a tiny smile. It faded too quickly, and she looked down at where she clasped the rail with both hands. 

In a rare moment of insight that surprised Lightning, Snow nodded, pushing himself away from the edge of the ship and and stretching noisily. 

"Well, take as long as you need, you got that? I'm going to go bother Captain Katzroy for a bit. Shout out if you need anything!"

With that, he turned heel and jogged over to the heavy door to the ship's interior. Lightning watched him vanish inside, shaking her head. 

"Like an overgrown puppy, even though he's on a summoner's pilgrimage." She snorted softly to herself. "The warrior monks were never able to beat some propriety through that thick skull of his, then."

"He quit, not long after your..." Serah sighed, as if unable to bring herself to elaborate further. "Besides. Somehow, I think I'm going to need a little laughter."

Lightning's gaze cut back to her sister - the same sister that had suddenly realised her fingernails were incredibly interesting. It did her no good, though, since her emotions were written all over her face. 

_What did you two become, after I died?_ Lightning asked silently, her heart aching. _Oh Serah. You both know what's at the end of all this. Why make it so much harder for yourselves?_

She didn't press the issue, and simply listened to the lap of the waves of the side of the SS Lindblum for a while. Relationships between summoners and guardians were... ill-advised, given the nature of their journey, but never expressly forbidden by Yevon's teachings. It was their choice, though. 

Lightning exhaled after a moment, letting her tension bleed away. "What exactly is the plan from here? We're obviously headed for Besaid, and that makes a good starting point for the other Temples, too."

Serah nodded. "Kilika, after that. Djose..."

"And then through to Macalania?" Lightning prodded when her sister fell silent. It was better if they kept a direct path to Zanarkand - no detours, and certainly not to-

"I was thinking we'd stop at Oerba Temple. Given how close it is to Djose."

Lightning immediately felt herself bristle at the suggestion. Even as a Crusader, even as a total outsider to Yevon's inner workings, she'd heard quite enough about the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. Every so often, word would come across the oceans of summoners who had tried and failed to commune with the fayth in Oerba. Magical burnout, failure, exhaustion - sometimes, even death. Thanks to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's known _difficulty_ , few summoners bothered to travel to the Temple of Winds. 

Given the treacherous cliff path up from Djose and few other reasons to visit Oerba, Lightning had once advocated strongly against the Temple when speaking of the pilgrimage with Serah. 

It wasn't that she doubted Bahamut Raver's power - she'd seen it in action herself. Back when she'd first started training with the Crusaders, she'd been transferred to the camp at Mushroom Rock Road. When the Sinspawn attacked, a remnant of Sin's close passage along the coast, things had been looking bad. The insectoid monster would have devastated the encampment of trainees, and that was when a passing summoner had called Bahamut Raver down from the skies. 

With flashing claws, howling winds and a megaflare that had seemed brighter than the sun at the time, the aeon had brutally put down the creature. 

It had been beautiful, graceful, but she never forgot its viciousness - nor how unruly it had been with its summoner. 

Serah was stubborn enough to go head to head with the Fayth of Bahamut Raver, yes - but that same stubbornness could get her killed like all the other fools who'd failed before her. She had to force Serah to see reason. 

"You know my thoughts on this," Lightning said, her voice tight. 

Serah's expression flickered. "You knew how _I_ felt about Mi'ihen's offer."

Lightning was silent, unsure how she was meant to respond to that. What was she supposed to have done? Died, and left Serah and Snow to make the journey to Zanarkand alone? In spite of all her promises and vows, she was meant to have dragged her last breath and died pointlessly in a temple sickbed? At least this way, her death had _meaning_. 

Anything was better than giving up the fight for the Farplane.

Lightning still felt raw and regretful that Serah felt that way, even with the sacrifice behind them. Petty one-upmanship in the pursuit of vengeance was _not_ a good reason to seek out Oerba, though. As the quietness stretched on, Serah sighed, pushing herself away from the rail. 

"Don't worry, Lightning. There are plenty of temples before Oerba. If I think it's too much after Djose, I'll skip it."

Lightning watched her sister head for the ship's cabin door, stewing. She knew it was a lie.

###

In the three days it took for the SS Lindblum to make the slow, treacherous journey east to the warm oceans of Besaid, Sin attacked. Swinging down from where it had rested near the Thunder Plains for close to a month, the monster had missed the SS Lindblum's arrival by over two days and had hit Besaid - hard. 

According to what Lightning could pick up from the snatches of conversation and bitter recountings she heard, the attack had lasted less than half an hour, and it had still razed the village. When they'd realised what they'd inadvertently sailed into - too late to help at all - Serah had gone white in shock, Snow red in futile fury. 

They'd quickly made their way through the shattered, magic-blasted island to the devastated village proper. Looking out at the broken stone, splintered wood and shredded canvas, it reminded Lightning of the attack that had claimed her parents. Of course, there were a few pointed differences - Besaid was a tropical island, and Bodhum was bleak and stormy - but the feel in the air was the same. 

_Tension. Grief. Loss._

Lightning rested her hand on her hip, watching Serah and Snow stop to talk to one of the locals that had miraculously survived the attack without running to the temple for shelter. She could see the Crusader contingent on Besaid working at clearing all the debris, and she closed her eyes.

_This is what we're all fighting so hard to stop. Yevon, summoners, aeons, Crusaders._

Fortunately, Besaid had a number of summoners and priests. Those that had perished in Sin's attack had been sent to the Farplane, long before their restless, anguished souls had time to corrupt and develop into fiends. At least Serah had been spared the dance, if not the reminder of Sin's incredible power. 

In the end, though, they'd come to Besaid for one reason only. The Temple was home to the Fayth of Valefor, the next aeon in Serah's journey. No matter the destruction, no matter the grief of the islanders, Serah would go in, pray, and receive the fayth's alliance in her fight. They'd leave Besaid without looking back. 

Defeating Sin would be the best thing a summoner could offer these people, now. 

Lightning looked toward the stone-built temple. As always, it had avoided Sin's full wrath and merely looked a little battered, probably due to the lingering power of the fayth housed within. The noise of clearing and construction faded away as she stared at Besaid Temple, her heart in her throat. 

On the wind, in the strange quiet, Lightning could hear the Hymn of the Fayth. A young woman's voice, and it brought to mind endless blue skies and glorious flight -

"Snow! Serah! When I heard a summoner and her guardian were incoming from Bodhum, can't say I expected you two!"

The familiar voice - one she remembered from her days among the living - dragged Lightning's mind away from the captivating hymn. 

Rygdea hadn't changed much in the years since Lightning had trained with him at Mushroom Rock Road - and it was difficult for her to remember she couldn't greet him like the brother in arms he was. He couldn't see her. 

She let the hand she'd impulsively raised in greeting fall to her side, and she looked off toward the temple with a bitter twist to her mouth. 

She wasn't a Crusader anymore. She was one of the fayth. If she wanted some damn company, she'd need to wait until Serah decided to face the Cloister of Trials. 

Snow, in the meantime, had clapped Rygdea on the shoulder enthusiastically, and Lightning listened to the energetic conversation with a growing feeling of envy. 

"Hey, I didn't expect we'd be leaving Bodhum so soon, either. Serah just had to finish up soon, though." Snow grinned, grinding his fist into the palm of his other hand. "Sticking it to Sin has always been the idea, but I guess she had a little extra motivation to finish up early, if you know what I-"

"Snow." Serah's voice was quiet as she reminded her guardian to keep his mouth shut when it came to Yevon's secrets. Lightning didn't understand what the big deal was - a sacrifice to become one of the fayth was a far better end than being knifed in the back by a thief. 

Then again, she'd never been cozy with the Church. Maybe that had been why she'd drawn the shitty hand she had. 

"Yeah. Heard about your sister from Gadot when he transferred here." Rygdea grunted under his breath. "Shame. She was a good Crusader, too. Deserved better."

Lightning didn't look at Rygdea, her throat growing tight. She didn't need her lost life shoved in her face like this. Surely Serah understood that?

"Let's go already," she said, jerking her head toward where Besaid Temple stood on the slope. Rygdea, however, wasn't quite through with them. 

"Still glad to see you both rock up, early or not. Sin left a few of his little Sinspawn on the island." Rygdea's grin grew a little feral, then. "I don't suppose I can ask you both for a bit of help, huh? Nothing we Crusaders can't handle in good time, but you know what they say about Sinspawn."

"Sin always returns for them." Serah's gaze flickered toward Lightning and Besaid Temple, just the once. "I don't think it will hurt if we make a small detour..."

Snow let out a laugh, and Rygdea's smile widened. 

Serah turned to Lightning as Rygdea jogged off to rally his men and Snow went to stock up on shop wares. Her eyes were apologetic, but determined. 

"Lightning, we have to, you know."

Lightning sighed, relenting. As much as she wanted Besaid - and the reminders of the life she'd lost - behind them, it would do her no good to argue the point. 

"I know." She tried to smile. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

Rygdea told them that Sin had left behind three of its monsters in its wake, and in spite of her irritation, Lightning agreed - the Crusaders needed to be rid of them, and fast. It was no surprise, then, that he rallied every last of his men that could still carry a sword. After a few minutes of furious consultation with his lieutenants - she recognised Snow's old friend Gadot among them - he split them into two groups. 

Half went north of the village, and the rest took the eastern beaches. Rygdea himself settled in with Snow and Serah, leading them as they set out for Besaid's western cliffs. Loath to leave her sister for the cold silence of her chamber back on Bodhum, Lightning had no other choice but to follow along. 

Sin's most intense attack had been somewhat localised to the port and the village, and after some walking, they found themselves deep in tropical jungle that had scarcely been touched by the monster's magic at all. They threaded their way through the narrow, twisting pathways, and it was a good hour's hike before they made it to the cliffs where the third of the Sinspawn had been spotted. 

As they emerged from the dense forest and into cool, open air, she watched Snow and Rygdea draw their weapons, while Serah traded her bow for her summoner's staff. Lightning's eyes narrowed, and she felt a small thrill run through her. 

_So that's the way Serah wants to play this fight,_ Lightning thought, and she couldn't help the way her lips had curved into a reluctant smile. She couldn't say she hadn't been anticipating it - she'd wondered what it would be like to be summoned. To be real - to be an aeon. 

Right on cue, an earth-shattering shriek erupted from the jungle at their backs, and Lightning whirled with a bitten off curse. In spite of her incorporeal state, she couldn't help the way she automatically reached for a sword that was no longer there. 

Serah, Snow and Rygdea barely scrambled out of the way as the Sinspawn burst forth from the undergrowth, towering above them with a savage hiss. Snow and Rygdea didn't hesitate for a moment, charging forward to occupy the Sinspawn's attention while Serah readied herself for her counter. 

It was... huge. Insectoid and reminding Lightning a lot of a Djose centipede, it was the biggest of Sin's offshoots that she'd ever seen. No wonder Rydgea had sent every Crusader he had after the other two - had they been devouring fiends to add to their strength? She watched Rygdea dodge and duck one of the Sinspawn's bladed legs, heard Snow roar as he blocked another. 

"You can't let those two hotheads get themselves killed!" Lightning ground out, while Serah shielded her eyes from the rising dust cloud. The ground trembled beneath them - and then her sister looked back at her. 

"I'm not going to." Serah took in a breath, spinning her summoner's staff down before then swinging it up to level it horizontally before her eyes in a picture perfect imitation of one of Lightning's sword forms. "I summon you, Odin!"

Lightning's body flashed impossibly hot as a bright summoning seal opened up in the flawless blue skies above Besaid. Dark clouds began to boil out from the intricate pattern of light, filling the atmosphere with a supernatural storm that made a chill run down her spine.

The wind picked up, the thunder roared - then the world shifted and Lightning was streaking down toward the Besaid cliffs from some unbelievable height. She impacted hard enough to shatter stone, but neither the fall nor the lightning dancing from her body hurt in the least. 

For the first time in what felt like a very long time, Lightning felt... _alive._ Her whole body thrummed with energy - with raw power. She felt the wind on her skin, could taste the tang of salt on the air. Without delay, she rose up from where she'd crouched on one knee in her crater, hefting her wide shield and serrated, dual-ended blade. 

In her mind's eye, Lightning could feel her bond with Serah, hot, golden and impossibly powerful. The source of her strength, and her link to the living. Her bond to the last of her family. 

_Serah._

Lightning turned to her summoner, awaiting her orders. 

"Show them what you died for," Serah commanded her softly, and that was all the push Lightning needed. 

Snow and Rygdea shouted to one another and hastily cleared the way. Lightning burst forward, static electricity tracing her every movement as she slammed her broad shield right into the monster's snapping maw. 

The Sinspawn hissed at her, mandibles moving rapidly against the metal of her shield. It was huge, it was powerful - and Lightning's knees did not buckle in the slightest as she held it at bay with one arm alone. 

Her blade sang as she ripped it across the monster's face, acidic black blood raining down from its damaged maw as it reeled back. Lightning could have laughed, if she'd had a voice. Instead, she simply advanced. 

Zantetsuken rang with unearthly power as she leveled it at the Sinspawn. 

She was an aeon. She was Odin, and she'd never felt so _powerful_. Hell, at that moment, she felt like she could take on Sin itself and win. Without a moment's hesitation, she flashed forward, and it took no effort at all to send Zantetsuken straight through the hard carapace. She felt her death magic erupt outward, breaking apart the corrupt pyrefly magic that had been holding the Sinspawn's body together. 

The monster sagged down against her, letting out one earth-shaking, tortured shriek - before it died. 

Lightning drew her blade from the creature's rapidly-fading body with a jerk, swinging it down to her side as she tilted her horned helm back and savoured her first victory. 

_This... this is why I chose..._

Images flashed before her eyes - city lights, and writing in the script of Yevon. She could hear a multifaceted voice singing the hymn like nothing she'd ever heard before. It was haunting, and it was _everything_. 

She twitched as she felt a hand rest against the armour of her thigh, and she looked down at Serah in surprise. When had she approached? She looked so small, now... Lightning knelt smoothly, laying her weapon down on the ground at her side as she met her sister's worried blue eyes. 

_No. The power isn't why I chose this. Serah is why._ Lightning haltingly bowed her head. _Serah is everything. She's all I've got left._

Rygdea was openly staring at her - his eyes wide, and his jaw clenched tight. 

"When... when they said they had a new fayth at Bodhum..." His voice was wondering, but it sounded like he forced every word. "I had no idea _this_ was what they meant! Farron? I'd recognise that style anywhere... Is she... Did they...?"

"She chose this," Serah said, after a few moments. She laid a hand on Lightning's shoulder hesitantly, her expression conflicted. "We all have our paths. I had mine... and she had hers."

Lightning's heart ached. Serah had accepted her choice, then, the same way she'd accepted the pilgrimage. 

She just wished that neither of them had been necessary at all.

Rygdea's face was unreadable, and he shot Snow and Serah a level look before sheathing his blade at his side. It was to neither of them, though, that he addressed his next statement. 

"I hope you don't come to regret this one, Farron, when everything is said and done."

Lightning didn't respond - couldn't, really - but she nodded as she allowed her summoned body to finally fade away.

###

Besaid and Kilika Temples passed without any major incidents - just the usual fiends, bandits and innocents in need of a summoner's healing - or a sending instead. To her credit, Serah took every tiny request in her stride, no matter how much she wished to reach the end of her pilgrimage and receive the Final Aeon on Zanarkand. 

_Zanarkand..._ Lightning thought to herself as they waited in the tiny room outside Djose's Chamber of the Fayth. _What sort of fayth creates a Final Aeon? In what way is it so fundamentally different to us other fayth?_

Snow restlessly paced the length of the space again and again, muttering to himself under his breath. Lightning traced his movements with her eyes, wishing she could communicate with him and offer some words to reassure him. As far as she could tell, the communion with the Fayth of Ixion was going well. Serah would succeed, and the Fayth would join them on the pilgrimage. 

In all honesty, though, Lightning found it... difficult... to communicate and connect with the other fayth. The Fayth of Valefor always seemed so vague in those times she'd deigned to look in on Serah's travels uncalled, and the Fayth of Ifrit was distracted, almost _scattered_. 

Neither of them lingered, not the way Lightning did. She supposed they did have more than one summoner to look after, and they didn't have the same bond with Serah that she did. 

They always seemed too dreamy, as if some part of them slept on. She'd asked the Fayth of Valefor, once, what they dreamed. The girl - a teenager, no older than Serah - had looked at her, and then _through_ her. She had been quiet for a long moment, before she said,. 

"Zanarkand. We dream of Zanarkand."

Lightning had twitched, recalling that city of lights, skyscrapers and revelry. The city had been almost confronting in its alien atmosphere, and she had turned away from the Fayth of Valefor, disappointed. 

She wanted no part of this dream version of Zanarkand.

###

Just as Lightning had known they would, when Serah finished up at Djose Temple, instead of turning down the Highroad as she should have, she headed for the northern cliffs. Lightning had scowled at her sister, who had looked determinedly forward at the narrow, rocky pathway up the cliff's face.

Of course they were heading for Oerba. Of course Serah would still insist on it.

No matter how strong Lightning herself was - and the gap in power levels between herself, Valefor and Ifrit had been a little shocking - she still couldn't change her sister's mind on the matter.

It took them a day's hard travel along the harsh Djose coast, crossing over where the Moonflow met the sea and beyond, before they finally made it to Oerba.

Oerba was a small fishing and hunting village situated at one of the Moonflow's narrow, branching inlets. As they looked down at the mismatched set of rough and rusted buildings, Lightning found that she had to agree with popular opinion. Oerba had absolutely nothing to offer - and if not for the Fayth of Bahamut Raver, the place would have fallen off the map long ago. 

_Why even build a temple here? What was so damn important about this shantytown that it deserved a fayth to guard?_

The town below them was quiet, empty, and looked more like a ghost town than a thriving fishing hamlet. Now that the sun was setting, the whole place had been plunged into the shadows of the tall cliffs. 

"Well, no point in standing around and admiring the view," Snow said with a grin. "What say we go bother the Temple for a couple of spare beds for the night?"

Serah nodded and flashed a tired smile in Snow's direction. She gratefully accepted the hand her guardian offered to help her down the cliff, and Lightning turned her attention toward the darkening temple. It was set back in the towering cliffs on the other side of the inlet, and from here, she could see a solitary man lighting the torches outside. 

She closed her eyes, reaching out with her sense for the hymn she'd come to expect. Over her past encounters with the other fayth, she'd found that she'd been able to tell a lot about them from their song alone. Ifrit's had been deep, male, with an intensity that had screamed "heat" to her mind. Ixion, on the other side of things, had sounded almost mournful. It had rather suited the stoic, isolated fayth she'd met following the Trials at Djose - he'd given her a measuring look, before snorting and vanishing.

This hymn certainly used the same, familiar lyrics as all the others before. It was a woman's voice and as she listened, Lightning's felt her breath catch. The hymn was ominous and outright angry - as though the fayth who sang it hated the world and everything in it.

Apparently, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was as confronting and combative in spirit form as they - she, Lightning amended - had been as an aeon.

_What the hell is Serah thinking? Surely she can feel that... rage._

Buried under all that anger and hatred, Lightning implicitly felt the exact reason that Serah and all those other summoners had sought the Fayth of Bahamut Raver out. This fayth, in spite of her difficulty, called an aeon of unbelievable strength. To a summoner on a pilgrimage, to someone who had recently witnessed everything at stake... 

That strength was seductive.

###

When Serah and Snow had arrived at Oerba Temple, the man that met them - Lightning assumed he was the head priest - looked a little shocked to see a summoner and her guardian. As she watched him blurt out a surprised, if warm, greeting, Lightning idly wondered how long it had been since anybody had bothered to make the trip. When they entered, she didn't see any trainee summoners, other priests or acolytes, and the temple itself was silent and cold. 

_There's nobody here... Oerba must be so lonely for him._

The priest had quickly made every attempt to settle Serah and Snow comfortably in one of the small rooms at the rear of the Temple, before bustling off to find them some food to share. Lightning hadn't joined them in their room, sensing their need for privacy and more than eager to allow them that. She was reluctant to return to Bodhum and the dream that waited, but tied to Serah's presence as she was, her options were limited.

After weighing her choices for a few moments, Lightning had turned and moved back into the long, main hall of the Temple. Off to one side, she could see the heavy doors that led to the Cloister of Trials and ultimately, to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. That headache would wait until the next day, and instead, Lightning's gaze fell upon the bronzed statues of the High Summoners, Yunalesca and Gandof.

Since Sin's appearance over two hundred years prior, only two Summoners had ever successfully defeated the monster in battle and brought about a temporary - if desperately needed - Calm. Yunalesca had been the first to defeat Sin, and she had paved the way for all summoners to follow after her. It had taken over a hundred and fifty years and countless other attempts before High Summoner Gandof had replicated her incredible feat. 

As was the fate of all summoners who called the Final Aeon and bested Sin, both had perished. Given the fractional success rate, and the fact that many summoners simply never returned from Zanarkand at all, the end of a summoner's journey was always somewhat shrouded in mystery. Since she was now a fayth and tied to the whole process, Lightning rather thought she deserved the knowledge of what lay ahead. None of the other fayth had been forthcoming with that information.

Lightning snorted softly to herself, looking up into the bronzed likeness of High Summoner Yunalesca. A feeling of deja vu swept her as she scanned the woman's features. She'd never really paid much mind to the statues of the High Summoners in the other temples, and the one in Bodhum had been so new that... She felt like she'd looked into that face before, but the memory was both hazy and feverish. 

The feeling faded as she backed away a few halting steps, before she turned and headed for heavy temple doors and the open night beyond. The sound of waves crashing against rock reminded her painfully of home, but even so, the sound drowned out the incessant whisper of the hymn in her head and the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

She lost herself in the steady noise, and she was still there when the sun finally rose.

###

Serah had been in a battle of wills with the Fayth of Bahamut Raver for the past ten hours, and the tension in the waiting room was so thick it could have been sliced with a sword. Snow had long since started - and then ceased - his pacing, and had now begun working through what sword forms he knew as he tried to vent his frustration. 

Lightning had watched him work at first, knowing that her form corrections would have been ignored even if Snow had been able to hear them. Instead, she kept her eyes glued to the entrance of the Chamber of the Fayth, her jaw locked and her back rigid. 

Serah, it seemed, had decided that she'd either win the Fayth of Bahamut Raver over, or die trying. 

_Stubborn idiot,_ Lightning growled silently, but her anger wasn't directed at her sister. The fayth was difficult, but why? Why the reluctance? Why the anger? Why was she a fayth at all, when clearly she had no interest in the fight against Sin?

Lightning looked back to where Snow had roared and slammed his fist against the rough-hewn wall. He was sweating, his face contorted in helpless desperation. He couldn't help Serah now. 

_"Fight the battles that we cannot."_ That had been what Lord Mi'ihen had told Lightning, just before the sacrifice. 

If there was a rule against summoners having support while in the Chamber, well, Lightning didn't care. She phased through the stone wall of the chamber and directly into the glyph lit interior, her eyes quickly adjusting to the change in light.

Serah knelt at the edge of the crystal enclosed fayth stone, her face glistening with sweat. To Lightning's eyes, she swayed with every breath, but in spite of her obvious exhaustion, her face was strained and focused. 

Pitching her voice at a level she knew Serah could not detect, Lightning addressed the stubborn fayth directly.

"Bahamut Raver. Show yourself already."

Lightning watched Serah suck in an unsteady, shallow breath, and she clenched her teeth. Something had to be done, and she waited for the fayth to acknowledge her. She wasn't disappointed. 

_"You're one of the girl's fayth. **Interfering** with my rightful trial of the summoner... how very interesting."_ The voice was accented and falsely light, but Lightning could sense the sheer venom behind the words.

She lifted her chin, refusing to believe she'd made an error. The fayth still hadn't shown herself, but that hardly mattered. 

"I'm Lightning, the Fayth of Odin," she said, keeping her voice level and controlled. "What the hell are you playing at? Serah-"

Laughter rang out in the chamber - bitter and harsh.

_"Oh, this is almost **too much**."_ The laughter had stopped just as quickly as it had begun. _"You're her sister! You're her sister, and you've let her go on a pilgrimage to defeat Sin!"_

Her body rigid in anger from the blatant mockery, Lightning bit out, "And if I am? What the hell would you know?"

_"Plenty."_ The voice was predatory, and Lightning's eyes constantly scanned the tiny chamber for it's source. Where the hell was she? _"Funny, though, that her loved one is a fayth in the beginning. Normally fate leaves that cruelty for the end... they must have got you early."_

Lightning shook her head, unsure of what the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was talking about. More Yevon secrets? There was just so much she didn't _know._

_"Tell me. What did you do it for? Yevon? Glory?"_ The voice dropped a few octaves, growing even more menacing and hateful. _"On orders, like a good little Crusader?"_

"I did it so I could continue to protect Serah!" Lightning snarled in response, bristling at what was being implied. This fayth didn't know her, no matter what could be deduced from the Crusader armour, but she'd be damned if she just stood around and let herself be judged. 

There was a pause from the Fayth of Bahamut, as though she was thinking. When she finally spoke, her tone was one of mild curiosity.

_"You do realise she'll die, in the end?"_

Lightning looked to the side, to where Serah still prayed, her features lit up in the purple light of the glyphs lining the walls. Her heart hurt. 

"I believe she can make a difference."

For their parents, for Besaid, for every Spiran who died under Sin's terrifying reign. There was no other choice than to believe.

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver laughed, as though it was the funniest thing she'd heard in a long time. _"So naive. Nothing **matters** , at the end of it all. Nothing changes. You just gamble, and the house always wins."_

She sounded so bitter and angry. Somehow, Lightning knew that it came from experience. What had happened, to destroy this fayth so completely?

"I don't think that's a choice you get to make for her. Not one that I could, either." Lightning rested her hand on her hip, smiling down at her sister. "Think what you like, but she _can_ win this."

_"Can she just?"_ The venom had faded, and in its place, there was only weariness. 

"Whatever it takes." Lightning looked away from Serah, to the fayth stone at the center of the chamber. "We're not going away. Give us a chance. Fight with us, instead of against us."

There was another long pause, and for a moment, Lightning was afraid she'd gone too far and the fayth had simply decided to keep ignoring them. Then, there was a soft laugh, lacking all of the harsh mockery of before.

_"You interest me, Lightning, Fayth of Odin."_ At last, the fayth shimmered into existence above the fayth stone. A woman - dark, beautiful, and moving with deadly grace - crouched before Serah like a waiting predator. Her eyes flickered up to meet Lightning's just for a moment. 

"Tell me, Summoner Serah..." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver bared her teeth in what might have been a smile, once. "How much do you hate the world as it is?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Final Fantasy worlds in which there is more than one iteration of Bahamut, often there will be an 'amender' placed on the end - such as for Bahamut Zero, Bahamut SIN, or Bahamut Fury. In this case, Fang's Eidolon in FFXIII was designed with the stated concept of "Aerial Raver" so "Bahamut Raver" is more a nod at that developmental concept. XD
> 
> Thanks for reading chapter two. We'll take a bit more of a look at "why so bitter, Fang?" in upcoming chapters, so stay tuned!


	3. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing a bond with the Fayth of Bahamut Raver isn't exactly pleasant, but with so few answers on the nature of the dream and the Final Aeon, Lightning has little choice but to make nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to fmorgana for the beta work!
> 
> Title for the chapter comes from the [song on the FFX OST of the same name](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRinM3g6tdQ).

A summoner's mind and overall presence acted somewhat like a conduit for the fayth they'd communed with. The closest Lightning could liken it to was that Serah was like a focus point, or like a calibration tower in the Thunder Plains. She drew pyrefly magic to her without so much as a thought, and to a newly-created fayth such as Lightning... the mechanics of it all were nothing short of fascinating. 

Even when called away by those few summoners who were beginning to brave the Bodhum Cloister of Trials, Lightning had found she knew implicitly where Serah was at any given moment. All she needed to do was close her eyes and think of her sister - the bond between them would light up, and she'd find herself where she was needed the most. 

She still hadn't been summoned by anyone other than Serah, yet - at the moment, she was perfectly fine with that. More summoners calling on Odin meant less time watching her sister's back, and if something happened while Lightning was away, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself.

It had been a few days since their detour to Oerba, and they had only just made it back to Djose Temple and set off again toward the Moonflow. The skies above them were clear, and had Lightning been able to feel sensation at all, the sun would have been warm on her skin. The entire countryside was deceptively peaceful, and a part of her wondered if it was merely a calm before the storm. 

She watched Snow race ahead, pointing energetically to something in the distance - a flash of sunlight on a wide body of water told her enough. He'd just laid eyes on the Moonflow river for the first time, and she couldn't blame him for his enthusiasm. It was nothing short of breathtaking, though she did wonder what his reaction would be when they finally made it to Macalania Forest. She smiled, watching him wave at Serah.

Calm before the storm or not, she was glad that she was able to witness these moments with them, even if she could no longer participate. It reminded her of what she'd sworn to protect, of a world without Sin. 

At least she seemed to take a little joy in her role - something that the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had done nothing more than scorn since she'd decided to join their travels. Unlike the other fayth, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was in the same, somewhat unique position as Lightning. With very few - or, from what Lightning could tell, _no_ \- summoners waiting to call on her strength, the other fayth had _graced_ them with her presence irritatingly often. 

Normally, Lightning would have welcomed the company. Having another fayth around should have eased the tight ball of loneliness in her chest, but things hadn't panned out that way at all. Much like she'd been at Oerba Temple, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was harsh, confrontational and angry. While most of the time she'd only been visible and audible to Lightning alone - thank Yevon for that small blessing - her comments had been nothing short of _incendiary._ She'd picked at everything from Snow's fighting forms, the sword he used, to Serah's summoning technique and spell-casting prowess. 

Three days into sharing a connection with the Fayth of Bahamut Raver, and Lightning was heartily sick of that seemingly endless stream of cynical observations. They were only barely buried under a thin veneer of banter, and the whole lot seemed just a little too bitter. It was a damn good thing that they couldn't physically interact - otherwise Lightning would have slogged the other woman already. 

Her good mood soured by the mere memory of the Fayth of Bahamut Raver - who was _thankfully_ absent for now, and had been since returning to Djose Temple - Lightning snorted to herself. Sooner or later, she was going to snap and give the fayth a damn piece of her mind. For now, though, she'd take the reprieve of peace she'd been given.

###

Serah, Snow and Lightning had made it all the way to the Moonflow shoopuff loading bays before the Fayth of Bahamut Raver decided to make her presence known. 

Lightning had been standing apart from where Snow and Serah were lined up to board, her arms crossed as she looked out across the vast waters and on the distant shadow of the opposite shore. She'd heard that the fiend population beneath the seemingly calm waters had exploded of late due to a mishap with an abandoned machina, and if Snow wasn't going to watch, Lightning would do it for him.

At her back, she heard Serah and Snow laugh at a joke some travelling blitzballer made. That was when the Fayth of Bahamut Raver phased into existence at her right hand side. Lightning's jaw tightening instinctively as she shot the woman an unhappy look. 

"That guardian of Serah's has a laugh a bit like a drunken shoopuff's, don't you reckon?" the Fayth of Bahamut Raver observed, crossing her arms and looking out across the Moonflow. Her bangles and bracelets clinked with the motion, but oddly dulled. More the memory of sound than anything else. 

Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose, already sick of the woman's attitude. She - _they_ \- were fayth. Surely they were meant to be above this sort of thing. As she glanced at the other woman's sharp profile, Lightning wondered if she'd be able to break that nose if only she wished hard enough. 

"He'll get her killed, you know. Dead on some forsaken cliff up Gagazet, long before Zanarkand or any Final Aeon can work their wonders -"

"I don't _get_ what your problem is," Lightning cut in, turning sharply to address the other fayth with her full attention. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's lips turned upward in a hollow, vicious smile, as though she'd finally elicited the angry response she'd been after. Lightning didn't know why - what good would making an enemy do her?

_Perhaps she's just an asshole._

"Looks like you've got something to say," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver observed after a moment, as Lightning allowed the silence to elapse for too long. 

"What the hell are you so damn angry about? If you were so set against doing your job as a fayth, then why bother coming along at all?"

"Do my _job_?" the Fayth of Bahamut Raver demanded. Her expression was both icy and flat, and she slowly shook her head. "Would you have preferred me to have sat back and let your sister die of mana exhaustion? I could have, you know. It was just so _close_."

Lightning exhaled sharply. She remembered how white Serah had been after the trials were over - she'd needed Snow to carry her back to her rooms. They'd spent an unexpected extra day at Oerba, just so she'd have the strength to make it out of bed. Mana exhaustion had been the least of Serah's worries, but the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's _threat_ made her hackles raise, toothless as it was now. 

"Why the change of heart? You've been placed at Oerba Temple, what, fifty years? No doubt you've heard every iteration of every platitude. What was so _different_ about Serah?"

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver tilted her head in an infuriating way, and the smile she flashed in Lightning's direction did not meet her eyes. 

"I thought it was rather obvious what changed my mind, _Lightning._ " The use of the name was biting, and not for the first time, Lightning regretted thoughtlessly sharing it. "It was you. You could say your role in Serah's pilgrimage interests me."

Lightning crossed her arms, wondering what it would take for the Fayth of Bahamut Raver to leave her alone again. She wasn't thrilled at the woman's interest, though she supposed it was likely Yevon's way of punishing her for interfering with the trials. 

"You were a... Crusader. That's the current name, isn't it? The organisation is a little after my days among the living, but I know enough. You're all sworn to fight Sin in whatever way you can." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's eyes were openly assessing, and Lightning instead turned her attention back to the Moonflow. "Why did you let your _sister_ , of all people, go on a pilgrimage in which she is almost certain to die horribly?"

The words were baiting, blatantly testing, and Lightning snorted to herself. _Easy, Crusader..._

Aloud, she said, "I believe Serah can make a difference. She thinks she can save everyone -"

"Don't trot out that tired old line." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's lip curled. "Fight the impossible? Yeah right. My thoughts? She called her gallant Crusader sister an enormous hypocrite. Am I getting a little warm?"

_Alarmingly so._ In spite of Lightning's best efforts to stay calm - or to feign it, at the very least - her entire body had gone rigid in outrage. 

No matter how biting the words were, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's tone was not unkind - it was mild, maybe even a little curious. It was the closest Lightning had been to genuine human interaction in so long, and she couldn't help but snatch what little the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was offering her. 

"Serah wouldn't hear my reasons," Lightning said, after a few moments of conflicted consideration. She shot a glance over her shoulder, to where Serah smiled and laughed with one of the Hypello handlers. "Why was _i_ the only one allowed to avenge our parents? Why couldn't she do what she could, too? I didn't like it, but really, I had little choice in the matter when I was heading out for training at Mushroom Rock Road in less than a month. In the end, it was more that I had to get on board - or get out of the way."

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver laughed softly as she shook her head. That was a good sign, and the friendliest she'd been. 

"At least, the plan was to be her guardian. That way I could ensure her pilgrimage had meaning, and not end... "dead on some forsaken cliff up Gagazet", as you put it." Lightning smiled slightly, looking back to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. 

"My sister... she was a bit like that. All hard head, big heart and impossible dreams. Wanted to save the world." The smile on the woman's lips was weak and forced, her eyes very far away as she stared out across the Moonflow. "Summoners, huh? Idealists of the worst sort."

"What happened to her?" Lightning heard herself ask, without thinking. _What happened to **you**?_

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's expression flickered, and Lightning didn't press the matter. She saw bitterness and despair, only barely masked under viciousness and apathy. She understood, at least a little. 

"So your difficulty... your defiance... it's all a part of trying to save them? To discourage them? Break their faith in their ability?"

The unnamed woman simply looked in Lightning's direction, before turning her gaze back to the Moonflow once more. As she faded back to the dream, she spoke. 

"You don't even know the half of it."

###

The trip through Guadosalam was a quick one, with Snow stopping only for supplies and Serah deciding to take a few minutes to pay her respects at the Farplane. Lightning herself hadn't dared risk the trip through the veil, unsure how strong her bond with her fayth stone on Bodhum would be when faced with the full onslaught of the Farplane. 

It would have been ridiculous to have come as far as she had, only to end up useless on the Farplane after all. 

She wondered who Serah had gone to see. Perhaps she wanted to see their parents, to receive whatever silent blessings the Farplane spectres could give her. Maybe, an old friend who had died in one of Sin's attacks. For all she knew, an image of Lightning herself could be reflected back at Serah through the pyrefly magic of the Farplane. She still didn't understand the nature of her existence between the living and the dead, and her continued ignorance sat badly with her. 

All she knew, was that some part of her always dreamed of "Zanarkand", not as it was, but as it had been. Unlike the rest of the fayth, it seemed, the concept held little meaning for her. 

No matter how quick their stop at Guadosalam was, it was getting late when Serah and Snow were ready to brave the threatening roar of the Thunder Plains beyond. Snow had insisted they get moving, and Serah had agreed - and all of Lightning's suggestions of spending the night in the comparative safety of the town fell on deaf ears. 

As though summoned by Lightning's growing ire with her sister, the pilgrimage and her own lack of knowledge, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver flickered into existence at her side an hour into their long trek across the Thunder Plains. The fayth met her stride for stride, and Lightning couldn't help but feel... slightly more positive about her. 

After all, both of them were - relatively - new fayth under Yevon, and more, both of their sisters had been summoners. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver had certainly been the most straightforward fayth she'd dealt with. Without reservation, she looked across at the dark haired woman. 

"Do you dream of it?" Lightning said, pitching her voice so it would carry over the constant rumble of thunder. "This... Zanarkand?"

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver stared at her for a moment, her face expressionless but her eyes disbelieving. 

"You really know nothing, don't you?" the fayth said softly, her voice almost drowned out by the next crack of lightning as it struck the barren ground nearby. "What we fayth do. What _Yevon_ does."

Lightning's not-so-buried irritation immediately spiked. "I'm sorry. I didn't have _time_ to read a manual on the 'benefits' of being a fayth. I was a little busy."

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver circled in front of Lightning, walking backwards through the Plains as she gestured widely. Her mocking smile was deliberately baiting. "I suppose that's how they got a young thing like you, what with your whole life ahead of you. Can't say I'm shocked, all things considered."

"You keep saying I'm naive. I don't exactly see you - or any of the others, for that matter - taking the time to fill me in on what I need to know!" Lightning snarled, her fists clenched in helpless fury. She couldn't do _anything_ about her rage, either - it was all pent up with nowhere to go. And to think she'd thought she'd been getting along with the woman...

"Looks like you've got something to say, 'Crusader'." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's eyes narrowed, suddenly lighting up in... something. Her eyes were fierce and feverish, as though she'd been presented with a challenge. 

_She wants a fight,_ Lightning realised, a little numbly. _She's provoking me. Why?_

It did neither of them any good. They didn't truly exist here, in the Thunder Plains, so it made sense that they couldn't just break into the brawl the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was trying so hard to incite. The hell if it wouldn't feel good to wipe the feral smirk off the woman's face, though. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver looked over her shoulder, then, her snarl fading into a frown as she spotted something just ahead of where Snow and Serah were weaving their way between the lightning towers. Lightning's own eyes narrowed, and she could make out a tall figure in green Yevon robes. She paused, suddenly wary. 

_Why would she be standing all the way out here?_ Lightning asked herself, a little confused. The Thunder Plains weren't exactly the friendliest place to stop for a rest - they were simply the necessary evil of the most direct route to Macalania and Bevelle. 

"I recognise her," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver started, shaking her head. She looked troubled. "I thought she was... I could have sworn I'd felt her die."

_A summoner?_ Lightning looked back to the woman in green. Serah and Snow had stopped to talk to her, and now that the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had pointed it out... The woman in green practically _bled_ pyrefly magic, and Lightning's breath caught. Before she could charge forward and open her mouth to warn Serah that the woman was an unsent, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver threw up an arm to bar her path. 

"Belgemine won't hurt a summoner, mark my words." Those pale green eyes flickered back to Lightning's as she turned. "You want to take out some of that anger?"

"Do you?" Lightning countered, but she wondered what the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had in mind. 

"Looks as though your sister has consented to a... 'contest of aeons', I believe Belgemine used to call it. Harmless, of course. She always was fond of aeon battles." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's eyes grew a little fond, and it was perhaps the first real smile Lightning had ever seen the woman wear. "You beat me in battle, then maybe I'll give you those answers you seem so dead-set on getting."

"A 'contest of aeons'," Lightning repeated, testing the words out. She liked the sound of that, though not the thought of being summoned by an unsent - even one that had been vouched for. 

"I think it's obvious who your dear sister will pick," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver said, tilting her head to the side as if listening carefully to something. "I'm sure I can convince Belgemine to play along, too. She's a good sport."

The dark haired woman flickered and vanished as another roll of thunder boomed overhead. Lightning looked up, her eyes narrowed. Did they have time to stop for a fight? There was a hell of a storm brewing up there... Practicality aside, she had to admit she felt a small thrill at the idea of testing her limits against an aeon of Bahamut Raver's strength. And she'd finally get to slog the woman the way she'd been dying to do...

A short while later, Lightning found herself summoned as Odin at Serah's side, Zantetsuken loosely grasped in one hand and her shield strapped to her other with bonds of electrical magic. She towered over both Serah and Snow, and all the while, the heavens above them threatened to break open and unleash that furious storm.

Across the field, "Belgemine" - or whatever it was the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had called her - looked reasonably impressed by Odin's appearance. Lightning didn't smile, but she couldn't help the warm feeling of pride swell up in her chest. 

Belgemine lacked any sort of visible summoning staff, but even so, Lightning was still surprised when the woman simply stretched her hand into the air. 

_She's powerful enough to dispense with a focus for her summoning magic... how long has she been doing this?_ Lightning asked herself, stepping backward to slide into a battle stance as bright silver seals formed in the skies above. She'd seen Bahamut Raver summoned before, but even so, the sight of the brilliant purple dragon streaking down through the storm clouds was enough to steal her breath away. 

Bahamut Raver didn't crater on the ground as Odin normally did, as wide, translucent wings swept out at the very last moment to pull the dragon out of her descent. 

The dragon's armoured head snapped around as the fayth within it. Even from where she stood, a good thirty feet away, she could hear the feral growl rumble deep in the dragon's chest. 

Lightning tightened her grasp on Zantetsuken, striding forward without so much as a moment's hesitation. She'd taken Sinspawn down without gaining so much as a scratch. No matter how strong Bahamut Raver was, as Odin, she was undefeatable. 

Zantetsuken keened with eerie magic as she leveled the dual-ended blade at the snarling dragon before her. 

"Shall we begin?" Lightning heard Belgemine ask Serah, and that was all the encouragement she needed. 

Bahamut Raver beat Lightning off the mark by just a second, launching herself across the rocky ground with a hiss. Without a flinch, Lightning caught those razor sharp fangs on the flat of her shield, before twisting and blocking both sets of powerful claws on each end of Zantetsuken. They locked in vicious contest for a moment, a deep and angry snarl sounding from beyond the shield as Bahamut Raver seemed to coil back and lash forward. Not to be outdone, Lightning set her stance, waves of thundara lashing out from her body as she threw the dragon away from her by force of magic alone. 

Bahamut Raver righted herself mid fall, and with one powerful thrust of those huge wings, it launched itself back at Lightning in the space of just a heartbeat. She only barely caught those jaws on the center of Zantetsuken's wrapped grip, and if she had possessed vocal chords, she would have screamed in pain as Bahamut Raver's red-hot claws tore into her bicep and across her torso. Green, white and gold armour shredded as if it were cloth. 

Powerful streams of thundaga magic lashed from Lightning's fingertips, and this time, when Bahamut Raver lunged for her again without missing a beat, she was ready. 

They traded a rapid series of sweeping strikes, testing jabs and probing magic, Zantetsuken singing with thunder spells and Bahamut Raver's jaws dripping with maladies. Lightning caught a trio of claw slashes on alternating sides of her blade, before only just bringing up her shield to block the follow-up lash of the dragon's powerful tail. 

Lightning didn't wait to let the dragon reorient herself, Zantetsuken reversing in her grasp in an instant as she brought the edge screaming across the Bahamut Raver's chest plates in a shower of sparks. Scales buckled inward under the force of the blow, and the dragon darted back, hissing, green eyes narrowed and glaring. 

_You wanted to do this? We can do this._ Lightning's lips curled upwards into a smile, almost against her will. Arcs of thunder magic played along her arm and blade as she leveled the weapon's edge at Bahamut Raver. 

Their next exchange was no longer testing - this time, it was all out. As Lightning and Bahamut Raver met again in the center of the field, they exchanged blow after rapid blow in a chain of uninterrupted, desperate combat. Zantetsuken whirled faster and faster around Lightning's body, the weapon almost a blur as she moved on instinct alone. 

It was far faster than she'd ever moved as a human, and it felt like magic was bleeding out from her armour as she blocked, parried and evaded the impossibly quick, burning hot claws and bladed tail. Zantetsuken was _singing_ as Lightning wove in under Bahamut Raver's wide, sweeping slash, and she was vaguely aware of the sparks flying every time she met the dragon blow for blow. 

Bahamut Raver certainly wasn't giving her the fight easily - the dragon fought with a ferocity that beggared belief, all snarling, poisonous jaws and whirlwind claws. She was digging in and shredding armour and flesh where Lightning's guard was just a little too slow or weak. Behind those slit-pupiled, green eyes, there was a rational and gifted warrior who knew exactly how to use her aeon form, and there was a method to the savage strikes. 

Zantetsuken sounded like a thunder crack the next time Lightning silently roared and charged in, but the dragon screeched and launched herself into the sky. Lacking wings, Lightning had little choice but to stand back and watch as the dragon gathered light in her jaws. 

_Megaflare._ Lightning had seen it make short work of Sinspawn. If she let that gathering beam of light hit her, she'd never get her damn answers. 

She resettled her shield, wondering if she could survive the massive attack if she defended. Perhaps she could catch Bahamut Raver on the cool down of the move, but as she shifted Zantetsuken, it felt as though the magic running down its length had altered. The mild deathtouch in the blade had changed, becoming something that felt impossibly deadly. 

Aeons like Bahamut Raver - _especially_ that dragon - were immune to regular death magic and maladies. It appeared to have been something the fayth had picked up as a part of their bargain with Yevon. But death magic, _this_ death magic...

Lightning tightened her hold on Zantetsuken, shifting from a defensive position to an offensive one. As Bahamut Raver screamed and swooped in, jaws wide open and a megaflare exploding out, she leaped into the air. Her mind focused on the length of Zantetsuken and the magic that had been bottled up in the blade, moving entirely by whatever magic and hidden knowledge Odin had been constructed with. 

Silver light flooded forward, burning hot and superheating the tattered remains of Lightning's armour. She could feel her pyrefly-constructed flesh sizzling underneath, and with a silent roar, she threw herself directly in the path of the beam, Zantetsuken cutting her path through the impossible heat.

It all happened in an instant. Bahamut Raver, still caught in the throes of her megaflare blast, could do nothing but widen her eyes - and without a moment's hesitation, Lightning plunged her weapon straight through the roof of the dragon's mouth and into the brain. 

Life faded from those intense, slitted green eyes almost immediately, and Bahamut Raver rumbled only once as she sagged, pyreflies dispersing from her bloodied and ruined body. Lightning withdrew Zantetsuken from the dragon's skull with a jerk, disturbed at how little emotion she felt. She'd killed another aeon - even if the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had been nothing short of unbearable for the last few days... 

Slow clapping reached Lightning's ears then, and she looked down to find the Fayth of Bahamut Raver at her side. The woman was wearing the most brilliant smile as she watched her aeon's body fade away. 

The clapping slowly stopped, and Lightning looked back at where Serah and Snow were whooping and dancing around in some sort of goofy victory fanfare that had to have been Snow's idea. Exhausted but satisfied with her victory, Lightning fell to one knee and allowed Odin to depart. 

"Bravo," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver drawled quietly as Lightning reappeared at her side.The woman looked drained and a little shaky. "It's been a while since I got to have a good challenge like that. Perhaps..."

"It felt good." It had more than 'felt good'. It had soothed some deep, restless part of her soul that had been going stir-crazy ever since that night on Bodhum. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's green eyes were thoughtful. "I just hope you find your prize to be worth your efforts."

Above them, thunder roared one last time - and it began to pour.

###

In order to escape the fury of the storm, Serah, Snow and Belgemine made camp in a cave along the edge of the Thunder Plains. In spite of the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's apparent trust in the unsent summoner, Lightning couldn't help but feel a prickle of unease, and she kept a wary eye on the woman. She'd hold her silence though - for now.

The sound of thunder and deluge on the bare, black rock of the Thunder Plains achingly reminded Lightning of home. If she'd been able to feel the chill on her skin or smell the rain in the air, she might have been fooled into thinking she was fourteen again and exploring the seaside caverns during a storm. Dangerous, yes, given that the caves had always been prone to flooding, but kids always thought they were invincible.

The Plains outside were misty and dreary, and she closed her eyes, letting the sound of the storm soothe her. Before long, magic flared just to her left, and she didn't need to open her eyes to know that the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had faded into existence. The fayth had looked a little drained, following their contest not an hour ago, and Lightning could have hardly blamed her. 

She certainly wouldn't be averse to a peaceful night without a fiend incident, just to get her strength up again. 

Lightning had won their bargain fair and square, though, even if she determinedly held onto her thinning patience. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver was quiet and thoughtful for now, apparently in no rush to start providing the answers she'd promised.

Lightning cut a quick look to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver, taking in her ghostly form. Whoever the woman had been in life, she'd been more than just some grudging guardian looking out for her sister - she'd been a warrior. Lightning had been able to see it in the way she walked, how she centered herself, and their fight had only made it clearer. Everything about the Fayth of Bahamut Raver screamed 'dangerous', and Lightning wondered. She knew she'd been able to take on the woman's aeon in their contest, but if they'd been alive and human...

_How good a fight would it have been?_ Lightning asked herself, watching the play of light on the woman's tanned skin. A thrill ran up her spine, useless as it was. Unless they were aeons, physical challenge was something she had to forget about.

"It was a good fight," Lightning said, keeping her voice slow and even. "Did it hurt?"

"Being summoned by an unsent, or the part where you rammed that great bloody sword through my aeon's brain?" the Fayth of Bahamut Raver asked with a wry curl of her lips, and as Lightning answered with a reluctant smile of her own, she continued. "An unsent summoner is a... well. I hardly approve of what Belgemine is doing, but I've seen no sign of the corruption that make unsent so dangerous. Obsession, sure, because why else do the dead maintain their grip on the land of the living?"

"Sounds like you've had a lot of experience with the unsent," Lightning observed, and a little part of her wondered. Was that what happened to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's summoner sister? Lightning couldn't imagine how it could feel, to see her loved one corrupt and then be called on time and time again by something that might as well have been a fiend wearing her sister's body.

Conversation drifted to the mouth of the cave - Belgemine was telling Serah about what to expect of the other fayth that lay on the road ahead of her. What held the woman to Spira, if not hate or despair?

"You and I... we come from very different times, I feel." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver crossed her arms, tilting her head to the side as she looked in Lightning's direction. "Back when I was alive, this whole "Teachings of Yevon" thing was really only in its infant stages. That's probably why I see them as the pack of corrupt liars they are."

"There you go again, telling me all about Yevon's supposed _transgressions_." Lightning looked out into the rain, disliking the way the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's cool green eyes had become measuring again. "If I'm so damn naive, again, I _implore_ you. Talk to me, tell me what you know. Let me make up my own damn mind."

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver didn't rise to the challenge that Lightning had thrown down, and she was quiet for a while. 

"Tell me, Lightning. How did you become a fayth?" 

"I don't see why that's relevant at all." Lightning clenched her jaw. She should have guessed that the woman would try to delay and divert her. 

"Humour me. You'll get your answers - I've got nothing to hide." Those green eyes were flat and narrowed, almost unforgiving in their intensity. Lightning was struck by how alike her eyes were with that of her aeon's - but for the lack of slitted pupils, she could have been having a stand off with Bahamut Raver the dragon. 

"Neither have I." Lightning settled her shoulders irritably, refusing to be drawn. She had nothing to hide, sure, but dwelling on that night in the rain always sent a prickle of helpless panic through her body. She was not about to let memories defeat her. "It wasn't so long ago. Perhaps a year, at most."

"You _are_ new. No wonder you're so..." 

"Frustrated?" Lightning guessed, filling in the moment of silence.

" _Optimistic_." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's eyes narrowed, and she waved a seemingly casual hand. "Go on."

"The Maester - Brand, you may not be familiar with him now, but he's the highest human representative in Yevon. He'd come to my home island with his retinue to announce something. Bodhum isn't exactly the most pleasant place to visit, so even the Crusaders knew it was gonna be big." Lightning sighed, remembering the frenzied preparations that Mi'ihen had taken care of himself, just before the Maester arrived.

"Bodhum, out near Baaj, right? Interesting."

"It wasn't long after his arrival that the storm rolled in. Drove everyone indoors - except me, fool that I was." Lightning snorted softly under her breath. "Mi'ihen had asked me to do an extra patrol of the town, given that most of our Crusaders had managed to drink themselves into comas or were home with their families. Some thief saw his opportunity to strike and he took it. Knifed me right in the back. Took my father's sword, my gil, my potions. By the time I got to help, it was already too late."

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's lips had twisted in anger, but she said nothing. Lightning wished she had, if only to serve as a distraction from her dark memories of pain and grey shadows. 

"I was fortunate. Lord Mi'ihen told me that the Maester had an... unusual proposal. They'd come to Bodhum to announce that a new fayth was to be placed there. That position was offered to me." Lightning's throat tightened. "It was too late to do anything other than accept, as much as Serah resented my choice."

"The position was... 'offered' to you," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver repeated her words, as if unbelieving. After a moment, she shook her head. "You poor, misguided idiot. You played right into their hands."

Whatever answer Lightning had been expecting, _that_ would never have ranked. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver was still watching her - and while there was still bitterly angry, there was empathy and genuine sadness, too.

"What are you saying?" Lightning asked, her mouth suddenly going dry. What could make the Fayth of Bahamut Raver change her tune, just like that?

The woman laughed - a single note of of barely-repressed anger. "When it comes to Yevon and the fayth, there _is_ no 'volunteering' part to speak of. Tell me. If the Maester went to shitty Bodhum of all places, all so he could announce a fayth... why the hell did he have _her_ with him?"

Yellow eyes and a condescending smile flashed to mind. The memory of a Sleep spell dragging her under one last time was enough to set Lightning's heart hammering in something that felt a lot like panic.

"I..." Lightning started, wetting her lips. She blinked rapidly, realising what the Fayth of Bahamut Raver was implying. "That... that isn't _proof_. What if he'd been intending on asking a priest or a warrior monk -"

"There you go again with 'asking'," the Fayth of Bahamut Raver cut in, her voice growing loud. Lightning couldn't help but flinch as if struck, shooting a fearful look over her shoulder to where Serah sat with Snow and Belgemine. Her sister hadn't so much as twitched as the conversation had become heated, and Lightning allowed herself to feel a tiny amount of relief.

At a much lower level, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver continued. "The proof is history itself. They looked for candidates, saw who they wanted, and made sure that you were not in a position to refuse when they made their 'offer'."

"What if I'd said no?" Lightning asked, her breath coming hard. She remembered those voices, not long before she'd awoken in the temple sickroom the first time.

_"I expected more, given the reports."_

Lightning felt ill.

"Again, I've come to realise that Yevon doesn't believe in 'no'." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver's voice was soft and almost gentle, but Lightning drew no comfort from it.

She looked over her shoulder again, staring at where Serah and Snow were relaxing by the fire. She felt dizzy. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver was telling her that Yevon and its Maester forcibly split her from her only remaining family. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver was saying Lightning's sacrifice was nothing but cold, calculated murder.

_Serah._ Lightning swallowed convulsively, still staring at her sister. _This can't be real. This is too..._

It made too much sense. All of those niggling inconsistencies she'd tried to ignore, the coincidences that numbered just a few too many. It was all resolving itself into a picture that was nothing short of shattering.

Lightning felt her whole body shudder - she heard the Fayth of Bahamut Raver call her name out just before she slipped back to her Chamber on Bodhum. 

She fell to her knees before the fayth stone that had been created from her still-living body. The stone was inlaid with golds, greens and whites, and buried under a layer of rosy crystal that would protect it from the ravages of time. She could last as a fayth for thousands of years, if that was how long it took to defeat Sin. Eternity stretched out before her.

It had been here, right in this spot, that Mi'ihen had told her to continue the fight against Sin. Mi'ihen, who had convinced her to accept the Maester's offer and go against the wishes of her family. Mi'ihen, who had been _talking to the Maester_ before she woke.

Lord Mi'ihen had known what Maester Brand had done, Lightning realised with a growing sense of betrayal. Her breath sounded rapid and far too fast in her ears, but she couldn't faint - she was as good as dead! All thanks to Yevon's _grace_.

_Had I even been dying, or was it just another lie orchestrated to push me into this nightmare?_ Lightning asked herself, anger and grief of equal amounts warring inside her. 

She really felt like she was going to go mad. She'd been sacrificed to the fight against Sin on a lie, like she'd been no more human than a sword. As though she'd had no hopes or dreams of her _own_. She lashed out in helpess rage, before curling up and clutching at her head. 

Everything she'd done had been based on a _lie_. Serah had lost her sister thanks to Yevon, and now she somehow had to go on. In the end, so did Lightning.

###

Several hours had passed, before Lightning had finally galvanised herself and made her way back to the cave in the Thunder Plains. The fire had burned low to just embers, and the intense storm that had driven Serah, Snow and Belgemine to seek shelter seemed to have lost a lot of its ferocity. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver was gone, vanished back to her temple in Oerba, or perhaps to the dream of Zanarkand. She wouldn't admit it aloud, but Lightning was quietly grateful that the woman had seen her desperate need for some time and space. 

_It's not every day you're told your willing sacrifice was just a part of the plan,_ Lightning thought, her choking anger rising up inside her. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver had known exactly what she'd been saying. She'd picked her words and her topic, and hell, it wasn't like she hadn't given fair warning that it wasn't going to be pleasant. Lightning hadn't exactly been prepared to have her faith in Yevon so brutally challenged.

The betrayal and shattered ideals were the worst part.

She slowly approached the quiet campfire, worry, grief and anger warring inside her as she reached up and impulsively curled her hand against her chest. Belgemine and Snow were sleeping - Serah, on the other hand, was awake and staring up at the dark ceiling of the cave.

Lightning was unsure of what she even _wanted_ \- to talk, to rail against the unfairness of her situation, to tell her sister everything she'd learned from the Fayth of Bahamut Raver - 

Serah twitched and looked across at her, as if Lightning's distress had bled through the odd bond between summoner and fayth. Her eyes were dark-ringed, her expression exhausted - the fight with Belgemine had been hard on her, of course - and Lightning's heart sank a little when she pushed herself into sitting position. 

"Lightning, what's wrong?" Serah asked, her voice just a murmur in the quiet of the cave. 

Lightning very nearly caved and confessed it all - but she held herself back at the last moment. What _good_ would it do her, now? What had happened was in the past, and there was little benefit in sharing the burden with Serah unnecessarily. As much as it hurt, as bitterly angry as it made Lightning...

Slowly, she closed the distance between them, seating herself on the ground at Serah's side. Keeping herself from passing through walls and floors had been a skill she'd quickly mastered in the Chamber of the Fayth, but that was as far as it ever went. She couldn't reach out and hug her sister, no matter how hopelessly she wanted to. She couldn't spend Serah's last few days with her - she was no more than a goddamn shadow, doomed to look on.

"Do you remember our parents at all?" Lightning asked softly, and Serah shook her head. 

"Just what you told me. Just how I saw them in the Farplane." Serah hugged her knees to her chest, looking off to the side as if ashamed. "Dad was a warrior monk, and mom..."

"A blacksmith," Lightning filled in on Serah's silent cue, hooking her elbow around one of her knees and leaning back against the rock wall. "Idiots didn't heed the warnings about Sin. They were still outside when it hit Bodhum."

_"Look after your sister,"_ her father had said. Silhouetted against the oncoming storm, that had been the last Lightning had ever seen of him - or her mother. 

"They loved us, though." Serah's eyebrows had drawn in, and Lightning had laughed quietly at the tired, old argument. They had done this one many times, and tonight, she didn't have the strength to be angry at Yevon and at her parents both.

Instead, Lightning nodded. "Yeah, I'd say so." 

Serah's answering smile was worth the concession. They had never found out why their parents had not fled to the underground caves on Bodhum before the attack. All she really knew was that one morning, they'd been there, and by nightfall... the island had been filled with pyreflies. 

Back then, the island hadn't had its own temple, and it had taken several days for a summoner to arrive from Besaid. It had been years before Bodhum's fiend population had returned to normal levels.

"I promised, back them, that I'd protect you - no matter what it took." Lightning closed her eyes, her throat growing tight. "I'm sorry."

Serah looked at her for a moment. She shook her head once, before resting it on her knees. "You did protect me. I suppose you still are, though not in the way I'd once imagined. So... don't apologise. You're still keeping your promise, you're still _here_ , and we can only do our best with what we have."

_Even if I'm no more than a ghost?_ Lightning asked herself, tilting her head back to stare at the cave ceiling. 

She stayed up with Serah until the early hours of the morning, talking of home, their childhood, and all their unrealised dreams. Even though it hurt, even if it made Lightning's heart fill with bitter, aching loss, it reminded her of _why_.

Yevon might have tricked her, corralled her into sacrificing herself for their ends, but it changed nothing. No matter what form she took, no matter the reason, Lightning still had a chance to keep her promise to her parents, herself and Serah. 

That had always been enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note that I'll be cycling back into updates for another work next week, so it might be a few weeks before I update _Wandering Flame_ again. Never fear, it won't be for long, and chapter four has already been 100% written.


	4. Sinful Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as bargained, Fang tells Lightning the truth of Yevon and the Final Aeon, and Lightning is left with a difficult choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is based on the track [Sinful Hope](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etWhthfHl10) from the FFXIII OST, and is notable for playing during the scene where Fang agrees to become Ragnarok for Orphan.

Belgemine had awakened some time after Serah had finally fallen asleep - apparently the unsent needed little rest or sustenance to keep their pyrefly bodies together. From her steadfast place, leaning on the wall at Serah's side, Lightning had watched her move about the small cave. She was satisfied that she was invisible to the unsent woman, and she was more than ready to rouse her summoner at the first hint of danger. 

It hadn't been necessary, though. As suspicious as Lightning was of the unsent woman and her intentions, Belgemine simply gathered up what little supplies she had without waking either Serah or Snow. 

She headed out into the darkness of the Thunder Plains beyond, until she was just a grainy shadow against the gloomy landscape. Lightning didn't take her eyes off the woman, watching her seemed to pick a direction almost at random and begin to walk. 

_An unsent is meant to be held to Spira by their pain, anguish and obsession. They hate the living. If it's not hate, then what is it? What purpose drives Belgemine onward?_ Lightning crossed her arms, looking away as Belgemine finally vanished from view. 

Curled up in her blankets on the cave floor, Serah looked tired, even while sleeping. Lightning felt a sting of regret for having kept her sister up so late with conversation, for having been that selfish at all. But she'd needed it, hard as it was to admit. She'd been so close to breaking under the truth of what the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had suggested. 

_What happens when a fayth goes insane and refuses the task set for them by Yevon? If not for Serah, what part do I really play in all this?_ Lightning asked herself, wishing she'd had time to think everything through before foolishly agreeing to sacrifice herself. 

She could pretend to have had the most noble of intentions - the fact of the matter was that she'd agreed to Maester Brand's proposal because it had given her another chance to save Serah. What did that leave for her, when they finally reached Zanarkand and her sister forfeited her life as trade for Sin's? 

_What lies in Zanarkand, that so many summoners would die without ever facing Sin?_

Lightning's jaw clenched, her hands slowly tightening into fists. The obvious answer was to simply ask the Fayth of Bahamut Raver what happened in Zanarkand, the way she'd intended. She hadn't expected those answers to get so intensely personal, and a part of her yearned to remain in blissful ignorance. 

If Serah made it to Zanarkand - and as far as Lightning concerned, that was 'when' not 'if' - then she'd find out first-hand what lay in the ruins of that machina city. Was there really a need to press the Fayth of Bahamut Raver for those answers? 

_Don't be a weak-minded fool,_ Lightning told herself angrily, but still. She wondered if there really was anything to gain from knowing. Those answers had burned the Fayth of Bahamut Raver, made her bitter and cynical…

She hated that she had to think on it.

###

Serah and Snow didn't linger in the Thunder Plains for long. As soon as the sun rose, they quickly gathered up their gear and continued on towards the distant glow of Macalania Forest. Lightning could hardly blame them - the respite from the more intense storms was apparently one doomed to be short lived, and the air was heavy with the promise of more bad weather. 

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver hadn't appeared to fulfill her side of the bargain for the whole morning it had taken Lightning, Serah and Snow to put the Thunder Plains behind them. It was both a blessing and a curse - while it gave Lightning some time to consider her problem and path forward, she felt like she was completely preoccupied with the weight of making a decision. 

When Serah finally called on Odin to do battle with the forest's nastier fiends, it gave Lightning a chance to vent her _frustration_ at Yevon.

As Odin, she was no longer some impotent ghost living a lonely and questionable existence. She was a force of nature, something that destroyed just as easily as protected and it felt _good_ to be able to reach out and interact with the world. 

_If only I could stay summoned forever,_ Lightning thought, the hopeless wish like a deep ache in her chest as she leveled her blade at the fiends practically crawling out of the hauntingly beautiful forest around them. 

She flashed forward to make short work of them, Zantetsuken singing with thunder magic and pyreflies raising in great clouds as she ended one hateful life after the other. She moved faster and faster as more fiends lunged at her from the forest shadows, and even though she was so angry, she felt a deep thrill of excitement run through her.

Lightning whirled Zantetsuken in her hands, thunder magic crackling down the length of it, and she sent the blade straight through the barrel-like chest of the chimera that had foolishly believed it could ambush the summoner under her protection. The creature's three heads snarled at her even as its body began to disperse in a burst of pyreflies, and eager to continue her fight, to feel _alive_ , Lightning looked up - and found the clearing empty of all but herself, Serah and Snow. 

"Always impressive to watch, aren't you?" A familiar voice called out from the side of the clearing, and Lightning twitched, instinctively raising her blade. The Fayth of Bahamut Raver leaned against one of the forest's massive tree trunks, almost hidden from view. Even from there, her gaze was like a physical force. How long had she been lurking in the shadows?

"Odin? What is it?" Lightning heard Serah ask, and she felt a gentle tug on the snowy white cloth flowing from her shoulder guard. After a long moment, Lightning looked away from the ghostly form of the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. An odd prickle of apprehension ran through her. 

_It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Serah. You and Snow are safe for now,_ Lightning told Serah through their bond. Serah nodded, wisely knowing better than to pursue the topic. 

Lightning ignored the feeling of guilt, feeling far too much like she was hiding things from Serah. What she'd said had been true enough - the Fayth of Bahamut Raver posed no threat other than the one to Lightning's own sanity. She allowed the pyrefly construct of her aeon to loosen and finally fade away, flickering back into her incorporeal form just in time to see the last of Odin's pyreflies fade into the forest. 

Her breath baited, Lightning looked back over to where the Fayth of Bahamut Raver still waited. It was now or never.

"You still owe me answers," Lightning called out, but didn't move to join the other fayth. She looked back to where Snow was sheathing her father's sword on his back, patiently letting Serah attend to a burn he'd picked up before Serah had decided to summon. "When they make camp tonight... then we talk."

"Consider it a done deal." The Fayth of Bahamut Raver _smiled,_ and then she was gone.

###

Snow and Serah eventually stopped to make camp somewhere in the middle of Macalania Forest, commandeering one of the more popular campsites off to the side of the main path. Unable to do much more than watch Serah slowly improve on her ability to set up a tent, Lightning simply circled the clearing like a prowling coerl. 

She had no idea when the Fayth of Bahamut Raver would show up, nor what sort of mood the woman would be in. Would she be sneering and hateful, or more like the woman she'd glimpsed that day on the banks on the Moonflow? Lightning didn't know what to expect. 

As it turned out, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver did not keep her waiting long, flickering into existence beside her shortly after Serah declared herself exhausted. 

Without so much as a greeting, the Fayth of Bahamut Raver heaved a sigh and rested a hand on her hip.

"I could have been a little gentler, I suppose," the woman said after a moment of seemingly careful consideration. 

Lightning didn't respond, opting to watch Serah continue to struggle at pitching the tent. She had to wonder just how much of Serah's difficulty was genuine, and how much of it was staged in an attempt to get Snow to complete the task for her. The forest's blue light cast an almost peaceful glow on everything, and if Lightning could forget that they were on a pilgrimage, they would have looked no different than any other travelling couple. 

It was a romance with no happy end, though. Not once they reached Zanarkand.

Lightning finally looked to the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. The woman, dressed in blue and black, her skin tanned from a lifetime of working in the sun, was still watching her. The outright malice - seemingly so ever-present in the woman's eyes - had dulled to an almost empathetic pain. 

It was as though she understood, and maybe she did.

_Then again, she was never been murdered for her soul,_ Lightning thought, the embers of her latent anger stirring. 

"You promised me answers. On Zanarkand. The fayth. Yevon." Lightning's mouth twisted at the last word. "So talk. What the hell do you know, Fayth of Bahamut Raver?"

"Fang," the woman corrected softly. "My name… it was Fang, though I suppose it hardly matters, now."

That concession pulled Lightning up short - the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had been nothing but cagey with the information before. Was she offering it as some sort of twisted apology? Lightning just looked at the Fayth of Bahamut Raver - Fang, she supposed - and waited. 

Fang sighed again, running a restless hand through her hair. "Problem always is, where the hell do you begin?"

"Perhaps try 'the start'," Lightning responded tersely, and Fang cut her an irritated glance. 

"Enough with the smart answers, or you'll get nothing from me. But you've a point. Maybe it'll provide a little..." Fang hesitated, as if searching for the right word. "Context."

Lightning simply crossed her arms, looking back out over the quiet forest.

"I was… well, I was born in a tiny town called Oerba, which you've visited. It might have been sixty years ago?" Fang shook her head, her lips compressing into a flat line. "It's hard to mark the years. You already have trouble. But things were bad back then - and different. The "Teachings of Yevon" still hadn't really become something people followed. For us, there was only the day to day struggle to make life work in all the destruction, while people desperately tried to replicate Yunalesca's feat a hundred and fifty years earlier. It was… dark. There was a lot of chaos back then. A lot of death."

Fang's eyes were distant when Lightning looked back, her hands clenching and relaxing in helpless fists.

"I was about ten when High Summoner Gandof brought the Calm. The story went, he faced Sin down with a _smile_ of all things, and the sheer power of his aeon sent the monster crashing into a mountainside. Of course, the fellow died, so nobody ever really got to ask him how he _really_ felt about the whole deal, but it was a good tale regardless. His courage gave the people of Spira a little hope." Fang's sudden smile was empty, more a reflection of regret than one of fond memory. "We thought, maybe it would be the end. Maybe twice was the trick after all. Looking at the massive crater the fight caused, people said it'd be impossible for Sin to come back.

"Oh course, you know how that happy story ends." Fang tilted her head back, meeting Lightning's eyes squarely. "Things went to shit real quick after Sin raised its ugly head again, no more than three years later. People started rumbling about machina, and hell, could you be blamed for wondering if we'd end up in another war?"

The idea of another Machina War was enough to give Lightning chills. That war of excess and needless violence had been the reason Sin had risen in the first place. Yevon said that Sin was punishment for that extravagant waste of life, but sometimes it felt like fire with more of the same.

"I had no idea that things had been so bad," Lightning admitted softly, casting Fang a sideways look.

"I rather think that's the point." Fang spread her hands, her expression bitter. "I lost my parents not long before the Calm started. Some good did come of it, mind. That's when I met Vanille."

"Your sister?" Lightning asked. She'd been under the impression that they'd been sisters - Fang had said so much on the bank of the Moonflow. 

"Yeah. In all but blood." Fang's small smile grew a little wistful. "Gandof was… he was her idol, in a world pretty scarce of such luxuries. She said she wanted to 'bring smiles to people's faces', I'm certain you've heard Serah spout much the same drivel... When a pack of priests started going on about pilgrimages, true summoners and something called a Final Aeon in Zanarkand, that was what she wanted to do."

Lightning knew something of what Fang would have felt back then, when her sister had announced her intention to go to Zanarkand. A pilgrimage on which their loved one was almost sure to die - the idea was still hard for Lightning to swallow, even if she'd agreed in the end. The prospect would almost be impossible for Snow, given the serious turn his relationship with Serah had taken.

She cast a look over her shoulder, to where Snow had given in to Serah's obvious ploy with the tent and had finished setting up camp. He was grinning at his summoner, his expression open and sincere. It was as though he didn't have a care in the world other than her happiness.

In the world Fang was describing, just after the second rise of Sin and the breaking of Gandof's Calm... People could hardly have been blamed for seeking hope in what machina ruins they could. The way Fang was putting it, though, she made the ones who started Yevon sound like no more than opportunistic charlatans.

"In the end, Vanille convinced me to go along with it. I'd have to have locked her up forever to stop her, and at the very least... I wasn't about to let her travel Spira with Sin on the loose again." Fang began to pace the clearing restlessly, and Lightning followed her frustrated movements with a keen interest. "It was a short trip. Vanille didn't stop at all the 'temples' to visit the fayth, not the way your sister has been doing. In hindsight, I wish she had. It would have given us longer. Hell. Maybe things wouldn't have ended so badly."

Fang's eyes narrowed, and Lightning watched her swallow convulsively. 

Lightning knew what lay in Zanarkand, at least in theory. In the ruins of that machina city, there was the fayth stone that led to the Final Aeon. That was the magic that Yunalesca and Gandof had harnessed to bring about the first two Calms - and what Serah was working so hard to be worthy of. . 

"Even back then, it was all a _lie_." Fang laughed, the sound off-balance and seemingly nervous. "When we got there, we found out the truth. All this time, for Yunalesca, for Gandof, for us - there has never _been_ a Final Aeon. Not in the way we've been duped into believing."

Everything seemed to screech to a halt in Lightning's mind. Her whole body felt like it froze, and shook her head, convinced she'd heard wrongly. 

_There has never been a Final Aeon,_ she repeated, feeling a little numb. It couldn't be true, because if it was, what the hell had Yevon built a whole system of government around? The teachings, the precepts, the deaths, the destruction - 

But what reason did Fang have to lie? 

"What the hell are you saying? No Final Aeon? Then what the hell did Gandof use?" Lightning's voice rose in volume, and she tried to swallow. "What did _Yunalesca_ defeat Sin with?!"

Fang glanced her way, that empty, sardonic smile on her lips - the one Lightning had come to hate so much. 

"Oh, they used _something_ all right." Her voice was quiet, and deadly - deceptively - calm. "When the summoner makes their way into the city and finds an empty tomb where the Fayth of the Final Aeon should be, that's when she slides out of the darkness."

_She?_ Lightning's breath caught. She remembered yellow eyes and predatory smile, a multilayered Hymn of the Fayth -

"Yunalesca."

Lightning felt light-headed, and suddenly it was very difficult to regain her breath. "That's impossible. She's dead."

"You know as well as I do that death is hardly ever the end in Spira." Fang ran a feverish hand through her dark hair, and there was an almost imperceptible tremor to the movement. "Yunalesca's still in there, unsent and completely obsessed with her task."

Lightning's skin crawled. "So that was Yunalesca who..." 

She swallowed, her throat feeling parched and bile rising up from her stomach. Yunalesca, the first High Summoner, was idol of so many, even Serah. The hooded woman in Bodhum Temple had been her? No more than an unsent? The disturbing disregard for human life suddenly made a lot more sense...

" _She_ offers the summoner a choice," Fang said softly, looking up at the night sky visible through the branches of the forest canopy. "She knows how to make aeons, you see. She can make _fayth_ when nobody else can. And the funny thing about the fayth and aeons is..."

"Their strength is dictated by the bond they share with their summoner." Lightning felt winded. She looked down at her hands, incorporeal, and she could see the forest floor through her fingers. The answer was obvious. "She turns a guardian into the Final Aeon."

"Got it in one, though I suppose you have a bit of insider knowledge in a backwards sort of way." The crooked grin Fang shot in her direction was feral. "She takes the guardian and turns them into a fayth. The summoner then uses that aeon to fight Sin. The strength of the aeon is usually enough to do Sin in."

"You were Vanille's Final Aeon. Her only guardian." Lightning stared at Fang, feeling as though she was seeing the other fayth for the very first time. "You're the Final Aeon!"

" _A_ Final Aeon," Fang stressed, but Lightning hardly heard her, her mind racing.

"You said Yunalesca offered a choice. What's the other option?" she demanded, because this could not be happening. If Yunalesca demanded sacrifice of a guardian at Zanarkand, then...

_Snow is Serah's only other option..._ It was beyond sadistic.

Fang laughed softly, fixing Lightning with her flat, narrow gaze. "It's death."

"That can't be right-"

"Do you really think she'd _let_ anyone who knows the truth just leave?" Fang demanded, her voice cracking in anger. "You think she'd allow the truth to get out? You think Yevon would let it? Why the hell do you think there has been no Calm since Gandof? Because those that _do_ make it to Zanarkand and don't buy into her damned delusions of false hope and cycles are murdered where they stand!"

"You have no proof," Lightning tried, shaking her head desperately. This was insane. 

"Just what I've seen with my own two eyes. The worst part of the whole sorry fiasco is that the Final Aeon is just another _trap_ , Lightning. It will _never_ be able to defeat Sin forever, and Yunalesca told us that herself." Fang crossed her arms against her chest, and she slowly looked to the side. "The ultimate _fate_ of the Final Aeon that defeats Sin isn't glory, the Farplane or oblivion - they get to become the next Sin."

Lightning felt as though the wind had been knocked from her lungs, and it was a struggle to keep her breathing even. If she'd thought Fang implicating Yevon in her own murder was bad, this was... 

It was all a grand, cruel conspiracy. It was greatest lie of them all. The Final Aeon was the only thing that could defeat Sin, but Fang was saying there _was_ no Final Aeon. What summoners could receive at Zanarkand was still an aeon of enormous strength, that much was true, and that aeon...

_Gandof's Final Aeon is Sin. It's a damn endless cycle._

"You said you were Vanille's Final Aeon. I don't understand. Why _aren't_ you Sin, then? Why aren't you tearing up Spira? Why are you in Oerba, not Zanarkand?" Lightning demanded, staring at Fang. It couldn't be true. It was... awful.

Yevon was maintaining the cycle of death, maintaining _Sin_ , and for what? Power?

"You're assuming Vanille ever made it that far." Fang's pale green eyes were anguished, and Lightning heard her take an unsteady breath. "She sacrificed me as the Final Aeon. That's true. She also died before she got the chance to use me against Sin. When Bevelle figured out what happened, they swooped in, took the stone, placed me back home. For anyone else, I'd be a normal aeon - the bond would not be the same.

"They figured putting me back home in Oerba was _mercy_. I hated them for it. Vanille was dead, Yevon and its growing cult was a lie, hope was nothing but trash and _I_ was stuck forever in undeath. Why the hell should I have cared what summoners want? Everything that mattered to me in life was gone."

"You went along with some," Lightning cut off, shaking her head. "Belgemine and Serah. I know there have been others."

"True enough. But there has always been a reason, always a motive. Like with you. Lightning, Fayth of Odin, following Serah, who reminds me so much of Vanille that it _hurts._ "

Now Lightning understood why Fang had been so interested back in Oerba. She'd seen an almost identical situation play out between herself and Vanille. Had she come along just because she wanted to spectate? Had she wanted to see someone else go through the same agony? Lightning's hands were shaking as she clenched them into helpless fists. 

"You believed in Yevon, but I couldn't figure out why. You were a fayth, you'd been sacrificed on Yevon's whim and yet you still believed in the Final Aeon?" Fang sighed. "Something wasn't right. The... ignorance was too much like a chocobo to slaughter... I guess I knew what it would do to you, to see your sister die in vain and your world crash down around your head without warning.

"I figured that if I told you the truth, made you understand, then maybe you would be able to... stop Serah. _Convince_ her to turn her back on Yevon and the fool's prize in Zanarkand." Fang's voice began to shake slightly. "If I couldn't save Vanille, then maybe I could help save this one."

Lightning stared at her, and it took her a few moments before she was able to rally her thoughts. "You think I'd believe you came along out of some... twisted form of _atonement_?"

_After the way you've been?_

"It's... been a long afterlife already." Fang raised a hand, almost as if to reach out, but then dropped it back to her side. "Maybe I don't want you - or her - on my conscience. Maybe I want to try to save you both from Yevon."

"Save us and damn us with the truth," Lightning spat, turning her back on Fang and shaking her head. 

"I didn't say it wouldn't hurt."

"So that's the truth, then. There is no Final Aeon, and the guardian that agrees to the sacrifice and defeats Sin..." Lightning trailed off, looking up at the night sky for a moment before looking back to Fang. 

"Then becomes what they fought, turns on their summoner, and slays them where they stand. A real fairytale ending, huh?" Fang finished for her, but her eyes had flickered over to where Snow and Serah. 

Lightning went cold. If Serah went to Zanarkand and was forced to choose her last guardian as sacrifice for the Final Aeon, that would mean... _Snow_. It was impossible to imagine him turning on Serah and striking her down, but... Lightning watched them, feeling ill. 

_It can't end this way! He's my brother, and Serah -_

"The funniest part is that Serah has no need to go to Zanarkand, in the end. There is no reason he needs to be the sacrifice."

Lightning turned to stare at Fang, silently demanding the answer. Anything to save them from that horror - _anything._

"After all. The strength of the Final Aeon is by virtue of bond alone." Fang crossed her arms. "I've been watching, and we're no _different._ You're Serah's Final Aeon, Lightning, or the closest thing to it. If you wanted, you could bring it up to Serah and tell her you could defeat Sin right now. Odin would knock that bastard right out of the sky. But then, you'd kill her. You'd turn on her and strike her down, because you wouldn't be _you_."

The Fayth of Bahamut Raver shrugged slowly, feigning nonchalance in spite of the pain in her eyes.

"That means that you've got a choice to make, Lightning." Fang held up one finger. "Tell her, try to save her life, but break her faith. Leave her broken and bitter, just like everyone else that Yevon's truth has burned. Your other option is to hold your silence, knowing her death will be in vain and what's waiting for Snow beyond the Final Aeon. You know her better than I do. I leave it up to you."

With that, Fang faded away. Lightning was left alone to deal the impossible choice the Fayth of Bahamut Raver had presented her with.

###

Fang's revelations on Yevon, Zanarkand and the Final Aeon continued to weigh heavily on Lightning's mind into the next morning. Reluctant to confront the issue head-on just yet and unable to bear the lie of omission, she trailed half-heartedly behind Snow and Serah as they emerged from Macalania Forest. 

Beyond the shadowy, crystal-lit paths running through the forest, a wide, frozen lake and endless snowy fields stretched on ahead of them. In spite of his namesake, Lightning was certain that Snow had never seen the stuff with his own eyes. The delighted whoop of excitement he let out confirmed that hunch, and his upbeat energy was almost enough to lift Lightning from her apprehensive tension. 

"Snow, slow down!" Serah called out after him with a laugh as he immediately charged ahead, keeping a level head even though she'd never seen real snow either. Unlike Lightning, who'd had the opportunity to travel with the Crusaders throughout Spira, Serah had rarely left Bodhum before the pilgrimage. 

Sometimes, Lightning forgot how little of Spira Serah had experienced before choosing a summoner's path. 

At Serah's shout, though, Snow did slow down. Practically bouncing on the balls of his feet like a chocobo on haste, he waited for Serah at the edge of the narrow pass that lead down to Macalania Temple. The Temple itself was relatively new, Lightning recalled - perhaps even newer than the one placed at Oerba. 

She wondered how the Fayth of Shiva had been given her task by Yevon, and if it had been under the same sort of circumstances as Lightning's had been - or if it had been more like Fang's. 

There had to be a way to verify Fang's story, because it was nothing short of _insane_. She could hardly be blamed for needing a little more proof than the Fayth of Bahamut Raver's say-so. Her gaze fixed on Serah's back, less than three paces ahead. Serah, who was completely unaware of just what sort of grand conspiracy Lightning had had practically dropped on her head.

She could not break Serah's faith lightly. Not without more proof. 

With the other fayth acting so disconnected from the pilgrimage, though, they couldn't be counted on to appear without having been specifically called upon by Serah. It would be difficult for Lightning to ask that of her sister without showing some of her hand, because Serah was nothing short of persistent, and if she suspected that something was being hidden from her...

_Not worth the risk,_ Lightning decided, shaking her head as she trailed behind Serah. Perhaps she would get the chance to discuss the matter with the Fayth of Shiva when they reached Macalania Temple - or even with the Fayth of Bahamut, when they finally reached Bevelle. 

"So, Shiva's up ahead!" Snow exclaimed as Serah finally reached him, sweeping his hands out wide before gesturing down the narrow, icy pass. "I've heard stories. They say she's quite the babe."

Serah swatted his arm with a scowl - even if her heart didn't seem to be in it - and she pushed past him without uttering a word. Snow cracked up at her deliberate non-response, and Lightning watched him slowly crouch, scooping up some snow from the ground. 

Lightning felt her lips twitch into a weary smile. She didn't bother raising a warning for Serah, content to observe the chaos as he dumped the whole handful down the back of Serah's summoner garb. 

The resulting scream of shock and anger echoed out across the snowy landscape, and Snow did the wisest thing possible - he turned tail and ran. Serah floundering over the snow after her laughing guardian, shouting the sort of vile threats that would have had Lightning demanding the sources of.

Neither of them had any idea of what Yevon and Yunalesca had in store - and Lightning really began to wonder if it was better that way.

###

Lightning and Snow resumed their usual vigil in the room adjoining Macalania's Chamber of the Fayth. In such a close proximity, she didn't need to use magic or their shared dream to hear the Fayth of Shiva's hymn. It was a woman's voice, as clear and cold as the ice all around the temple. Lightning closed her eyes, listening to the familiar notes, almost allowing herself to get pulled into the deeper dream of Zanarkand and the thousands of voices beyond.

Snow, on the other hand, had his arms crossed tightly against his chest. Even with his coat and extra layers, he was still trying to pretend he wasn't shivering from the cold. 

She supposed that an hour was a long time to simply stand around in the numbing cold, and she could hardly blame him when he started to pace back and forth. There were more pressing things on her mind than Snow's comfort, and she kept her mind trained on the Chamber of the Fayth. 

As soon as she felt the subtle shift of magic, signifying the Fayth of Shiva's slow awakening from the dream was almost to a close, Lightning flitted through the walls. 

She spared Serah a quick glance as the hymn in the room intensified, a little disturbed at the way her sister was shivering from cold. There was little she could do about that, only hope that the Fayth of Shiva was nothing like the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. 

Just as planned, she was there in time to see the Fayth of Shiva shimmer into existence above the fayth stone that Serah was kneeling before. 

The Fayth of Shiva looked to Serah, before visibly twitching at the unexpected presence of another fayth in her Chamber.

Unlike the rest of the fayth, there was an alertness to the Fayth of Shiva's eyes - one that reminded Lightning somewhat of the Fayth of Bahamut Raver. There was no dreaminess in Fang's eyes, only intensity, emotion and _intelligence_ in a way that almost made Lightning hesitate every time.

No, it was clear that the Fayth of Shiva wasn't nearly as preoccupied with the dream of Zanarkand as the others had eventually become. She was also wearing Yevon robes.

_A priestess,_ Lightning realised with a sinking stomach and an immediate feeling of mistrust. _If Fang's right about Yevon, then the Fayth of Shiva isn't the one to ask._

Without a further word, Lightning turned and flickered back to the room to wait with Snow. As exhausted as Serah looked, she wasn't going to interfere. Not the way she'd done in Oerba. The Chamber of the Fayth was Serah's fight to win, and Yevon origins aside, the Fayth of Shiva was not personally invested in seeing summoners fail...

Instead, Lightning chose to wait out the remaining time of the vigil with Snow. She leaned against the wall, watching him restlessly pace around the perimeter of the room again and again. Her father's sword, its hilt wrapped and secured with belts on his back, drew her eyes on his latest pass.

The weapon had not seen a lot of use during the pilgrimage, which was not unsurprising when she considered Snow's brawler, close-and-personal fighting style. Even so, he cared for it with dedicated reverence. 

Once, back on Kilika, she'd heard him tell Serah why. 

_"If Odin's the part of Light that you get, then the sword is mine. It just seems right that I take care of this the way she would have. Besides. I bet she's standing over me, giving me the evil eye because I'm doing it wrong or something."_

_Idiot,_ she'd thought fondly at the time, because he'd been right.

After perhaps ten minutes of stir-crazy pacing, Snow began to talk. In spite of Lightning's obvious inability to respond, he often chatted about everything from the pilgrimage plans to his favourite campfire stories. It was his way of passing the time during Serah's communions with the fayth.

It made her wish, more than ever, that things had been different and that she'd been able to stand with him in flesh and blood instead of... _this_.

"It's not long now, before the end. Three temples, Macalania aside," Snow said. He sighed softly, rubbing his face with a gloved hand. When he looked up, his expression was one of bone-deep weariness. "Three temples. That means we'll reach Zanarkand in... well, maybe less than two weeks, if the passes up Gagazet stay clear."

Lightning watched him begin to pace again, her stomach clenching at his haunted expression.

"It's... it's really soon. It seemed so far away when we were back in Bodhum, and time... Remember how we used to talk about it? It always seemed like some crazy adventure, filled with monsters and heroes. The reality is..." Snow paused, shaking his head. The movement was slow at first, and he looked down at the hand he'd clenched into a fist. "Every day, I get to look at her and fall in love a little more, and I wouldn't change that for the world! But every day I have to _remind_ myself what we're doing. What _she's_ doing."

She looked away from him, unhappy with the direction the conversation had taken. She had wondered how he was holding up, given the... closeness that he'd formed with Serah. This was the exact reason summoners generally avoided such entanglements. Why sacrifice your life, when you already had someone else to live for? 

It was only after a few long moments of conflict before Snow continued. "Don't... don't you tell her this. But... I'm scared of what's in Zanarkand, Light. The Fayth of the Final Aeon and what it means." 

He'd always had a good gut instinct, Lightning had to remind herself, but it was eerie as hell to hear him ask _that_ question above all others. Fang's revelations hung over her head, a burden she wasn't sure she was strong enough to carry on her own. 

If Snow knew what Lightning did, what would he do? Would he find himself as conflicted as she did? 

"I know I'm going to see Serah bring the Calm. I know it because she can _do_ this and defeat Sin, but..." Snow swallowed, looking towards the Chamber of the Fayth. Snow's open smile seemed like a faraway memory. "What happens after that? What do I do when she's gone, Lightning?"

_Both Snow and I... we're having doubts, each for our own reasons,_ Lightning thought, her stomach twisting. _How much does Serah know? How much does she suspect?_

Snow didn't say anything else - he didn't have the time. Serah emerged from the Chamber of the Fayth with a wide smile on her face and a new fayth she'd formed a bond with, and Snow's worry was gone like it had never been there at all. 

Only Lightning had seen it - and she had to make the choice. It disturbed her that she still didn't know how the situation would play out if she laid it all out in front of Serah. 

Would Serah pull away from Yevon in despair, or stubbornly continue on to a futile death?

How could she protect Serah, when every choice felt damning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I'd let this update delay a little long. Never fear, I'm continuing to work on this, though the next couple of updates might take a little while.

**Author's Note:**

>  **FFX References:**[Yevon](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Yevon), [Fayth](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Fayth), [Aeon](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Aeon_%28Final_Fantasy_X%29), [Hymn of the Fayth](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Hymn_of_the_Fayth), [Zanarkand](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Zanarkand)/[Dream Zanarkand](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Dream_Zanarkand), [Unsent](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Unsent), [Summoner](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Summoner_%28Final_Fantasy_X%29), [Sin](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Sin), [Crusaders](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Crusaders), [the Farplane](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Farplane), [the Moonflow](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Moonflow), [Thunder Plains](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Thunder_Plains).
> 
>  **FFX Cameos:** [Lord Mi'ihen](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Lord_Mi%27ihen), [Yunalesca](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Yunalesca), [Belgemine](http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Belgemine).


End file.
